I’m a 44 year old (mostly) straight guy who’s at a point where I don’t really know why any of that stuff really matters to people.

I was a teenager in Britain in the '90s when it was ridiculously common to refer to something bad as “gay”. So I grew up not homophobic as such, but having definitely equated being gay with negative connotations. But some 15 years ago I started to question my own attitudes, and, helped by a woman I was seeing at the time, I explored the idea of playing gay. I didn’t actually do anything, but she thought the idea was as hot as hell.

Fast forward to now, where I’m married to a different woman who also thinks that guys fucking is hot, and so do I. So it’s something that’s become an occasional part of our sex life, and it’s great.

Now, I’m not necessarily answering your question, because sex ≠ emotions. To me sex and emotions aren’t really linked. One is something to be enjoyed, and the other is something to be shared with an intimate partner. But the point is, if you’re a naturally open-minded person then your baseline for who and what you are will be constantly subject to change.

Are you straight? Are you gay? Are you bi? Are you any of these things? Does it really matter?

As to your point about being attracted to femininity: I definitely get that. Regardless of how someone identifies, if they’re feminine I’ve got a soft spot for them.