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Cake day: August 9th, 2023

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  • You would probably begin by having the police break into canneries and tyre factories to beat dents into any round objects they produce, then end up having to concentrate enough mass in neighbouring states to distort spacetime to the point where π, as measured on a non-Euclidean circle with locally Euclidean constant curvature or radius or something, does in fact equal the number you said it is.




  • Intralexical@lemmy.worldtoComic Strips@lemmy.worldLink
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    1 year ago

    Yeah my name is Link man,
    I’m more well known than Lil’ Wayne

    What’s that? You thought my name was Zelda?
    That’s a fucking girl’s name!

    I’ve saved the world like fifteen times,
    And saved the princess from demise
    And I do it all alone with no help and no advice!

    (Hey, look, listen!
    Hey, look, listen, you _ annoying fairy!
    I’d rather be forced to listen to constant Katy Perry.)

    I’m called the Bushwhacker
    And my bank account’s maxed.

    Got 999 rupees,
    But I’m forced to pay out the ass for these bombs in Castle Town.

    So I can kick that dumbass Ganon
    All the way to Argentina!

    L to the I to the N to the K, and he ain’t gonna stop 'till the world is free of evil.

    Legend of Zelda? Fuck that! Legend of Link!


    Credit (and blame) to Smosh. By the way, while we’re at it, can someone lend me their tomahawk, or maybe some meat in my mouth? Also, who’s Evil Kneivel?









  • Apologies for the Facebook link

    Equivalent content from first four search results for “Trae Crowder Lauren Boebert”:

    Twitter.

    Youtube. (Longer.)

    Facebook. (Landscape.)

    TokClockTikTok.

    Youtube automatic transcription. Click to expand:
    y'all every time I hear something else
    about Lauren bobert I've become more and
    more convinced that we somehow went to
    high school together you know like I
    know this person man I do because see
    I'm of the Whiskey Tango persuasion and
    as such I know another trash monster
    when I see one okay I mean you know it's
    not like she tries to hide it she just
    got kicked out of a theater in Denver
    for vaping and hollering stuff you know
    my fellow trailer Americans I ask you
    who Among Us right I mean we do that we
    do you know get a little too excited at
    a public event start cussing in front of
    the eight-year-olds then acting dignant
    when the bouncer shows up but what is it
    illegal to have a good time now I
    thought this was America right I know
    I've been there myself I have now
    granted I wasn't a congressperson at the
    time I was 22 Hammer drunk and the
    Titans were losing again but still I've
    been there now but I'm just saying
    bobert checks so many red ass boxes it's
    insane you know like she was born in
    Florida aka the Fertile Crescent of
    crazy crackers right to attain mom natch
    she grew up on welfare and food stamps
    she dropped out High School when she
    herself got knocked up now that baby's
    having a baby so she's a 36 year old
    mammal she married then divorced a guy
    who wouldn't stop pulling his dick out
    in public she's always talking [ __ ]
    about having a gun in her purse and she
    has an ongoing feud with the other
    craziest [ __ ] in town that is some top
    shelf trashery right there y'all like
    you just know she claims her Grandma's
    one-quarter Cherokee right you just know
    it and I'm saying all that makes me wish
    that I could root for this person kinda
    I do you know like if she was out here
    actually standing up for the little guy
    taking the elites down a peg Reed and
    stuff knowing facts [ __ ] like that I'd
    be all for it I'm like hell yeah finally
    some representation right but she's not
    no bobert's dedicated her life to being
    wrong out loud every time she talks it's
    like the chat GPT of harmful ignorance
    she outwardly hates other marginalized
    groups she screws over our own people by
    trying to take away the same government
    benefit programs that kept her alive as
    a child Lord I cannot stand a ladder
    puller y'all drives me crazy around like
    I'm saying I don't I don't hate Lauren
    bobert because she's white trash I hate
    her because she's a piece of [ __ ] right
    and I know some of y'all are going to
    hear that and be like well that's a
    little redundant but it's not it's
    really not okay some of the most genuine
    kindest most empathetic people I've ever
    known were trailer babies and an
    affinity for Mountain Dew and the early
    works of Limp Biscuit does not change
    that fact okay this country would do
    well to have a chamber full of them but
    alas it is not to be no instead we're
    stuck with boberts and bobert is just
    another loudmouth vindictive [ __ ] who
    somehow took all the wrong lessons away
    from her life and now spends her time
    spewing misplaced rage and making us all
    look bad it's a damn shame
    what's up YouTube back with more in just
    a second but I wanted to let you know
    that this righteous missive is once
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    at private internet access the world's
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    today for 83 off with four months free
    signing up always includes 24 7 custom
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    to hear if you think any of that sounds
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    app there's the button you push the
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    so try private internet access today
    what's up YouTube we're back hope you
    didn't mind that ad too much this I was
    thinking I was trying to think like do
    we have any good you know like trailer
    trash representation in Congress you
    know and I couldn't I figured I might be
    forgetting somebody I tried to Google it
    but that's hard if you Google Congress
    and trash you mostly just get a bunch of
    articles about either Republicans being
    called trash or Republicans being mad
    that they were called trash you know or
    like journalistic socioeconomic you know
    studies about how it's bad to call
    people trash which I firmly disagree
    with look I mean as long as you're trash
    you can call people track anyway made it
    hard to come up with any good results
    and I might be forgetting somebody but I
    was thinking I don't know who we have we
    need some representation in there at
    first I thought it was fetterman you
    know that one of the reasons I love
    fetterman so much is I was like this is
    one of my people right here looked it up
    still think Federal is great but like
    his daddy was rich he's from an affluent
    suburb he went to Harvard all this stuff
    it's actually kind of typical
    senatorship but I but I thought about it
    you know what no I don't care I'm
    anointed again he's honorary trash all
    right look he's earned it he's not he's
    done all that Real Deal Blue Collar
    working class stuff you got all them
    tattoos he looks like he wrestles at the
    county fair right he's always wearing a
    hoodie and cargo shorts the official
    attire of Burley winter time trash
    everywhere all right he's one of us
    we're claiming him okay that's why I
    decided we're claiming John Federman
    whether he likes it or not he's trash
    now but in a good way the good kind you
    know what I'm saying he's a trash
    Champion that's what he is trash
    champion John Federman put that on a
    sign anyway
    thank y'all for being here I appreciate
    it I'm gonna put these little uh icons
    up on the screen here get you uh check
    out the special if you haven't or
    whatever this video is it should be
    funny so watch it also subscribe to the
    channel it's one of the other circles
    and the main circle from my perspective
    it takes you to trackrider.com where you
    can see my tour dates you can come see
    me do stand-up comedy live you can also
    pre-order my book around here and Over
    Yonder coming very soon a funny travel
    guide I wrote with Corey Forster but
    mostly come see me but the main thing is
    you keep watching these silly things and
    I'll keep making them I love you like
    chicken see you bye