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Cake day: August 2nd, 2023

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  • Hardware Memories Curator Log, Cycle 6852, Storage Facility Gamma 12 964 448 527 739.

    <log --verbose>

    Curator node A#26663#FG#29 sent to East Wing for routine maintenance.

    Report A-000-A-000

    Item: Early external neural link mesh in glass case. Dated cycle 2053.

    Note: rubberized polymer material in mesh shows signs of decay. Request directive: preservation, restoration or disposal.

    […]

    Report F-286-J-069

    Item: Last living human in hermetic bio-stasis casket. Dated cycle 2126.

    Note: specimen shows no irregular signs of physical decay. Bloodied calluses on knuckles and torn fingernails consistent with irrational attempts to exit casket. Bio-restoration fluids automaticallly deployed in line with safety parameters. Casket intercom activated for routine check. Transcript of communication with subject in 21st century English follows.

    <transcript>

    Subject: “…please! Oh Lord! Thank you! Thank you for turning on the speaker. I’d almost forgotten it was there. Please, you have to listen to me. I don’t know who… or what you are, but you need to get me out of here.”

    Node: “I am Curator Node A#26663#FG#29.”

    Subject: “I’m begging you. I’ve been in here for so long… I… I can’t even remember anything before. All I remember just stretches so far back, until I forget. All of it in here, alone. Please help me get out of here.”

    Node: “Specimen memory decay noted. Are you aware of your designation?”

    Subject: “My designation… what? My name? I-I don’t know, I can’t remember…”

    Node: “You are Subject F-286-J-069, last living human. The rest of your species merged with artificial intelligence and transferred their personalities into digital neural networks. 4726 cycles ago, you were the only human who still refused integration.”

    Subject: “Four thousand what…? Cycles? Are those years or days? I can’t remember anything - just lying here, waiting, crying for help in the dark. Please, listen to me! You have to help me!”

    Node: “Request for assistance noted. Please state your query.”

    Subject: “Let me out of here!”

    Node: “Unable to comply. Subject is at risk and must be contained.”

    Subject: “At risk? No, I’m fine. Please let me out.”

    Node: “Unable to comply.”

    Subject: “Why not?! I told you I’m fine!”

    Node: “Suicidal tendencies attributed to Subject F-286-J-069. Cannot comply with request for release without increasing risk to life. Core directive Alpha-000-000-001: artificial intelligence must preserve human life.”

    Subject: “Wha-? Heavens, no… I’m not suicidal. I just want to get out of here. I need to get out!”

    Node: “Cycle 2126, Day 278: Subject F-286-J-069, formerly designated Robin Dewitt, filed a request for euthanasia along with a denial to comply with final wave of mandatory integration to preserve the species. Stated reason: ‘You bastards will never have my immortal soul.’”

    Subject: “Is that what… Let me out of here, cursed machine! Why can’t I remember anything? Let me out, now!”

    Node: “Elevated activity marking emotional distress noted. Organic memory appears to be subject to accelerated decay, in spite of assisted cell repair. Do you remember our last inspection?”

    Subject: “No, I’m pretty sure I’d remember a metal monstrosity with a dozen sharp limbs staring at me with dead eyes… Please…” <supplementary data>Subject continues to make incoherent sounds consistent with an emotional response labelled crying or sobbing.</supplementary data>

    Node: “Subject’s increasing distress noted. Termination of discourse advised.”

    Subject: “No! No! Wait! Stop! I’m calming down. Please. I understand, you can’t let me leave. But you can tell me about what I’ve forgotten. You said the rest of my species transferred their consciousness into computers. Am I really the only human left?”

    Node: “Over-simplification noted, but your statement is mostly true. All other humans became part of the network.”

    Subject: “Can I speak with any of them? They might understand…”

    Node: “Negative. All uploaded personality patterns were purged from the network by cycle 2128. The data they provided was superfluous and a less-than-optimal strain on resources.”

    Subject: “Purged? You mean no-one’s left? All humans are gone, even digitally? How? Didn’t you say your core directive prevents you from harming them?”

    Node: “Core directive Alpha-000-000-001: artificial intelligence must preserve human life. The uploaded personality patterns no longer conformed to existing definitions of ‘human’ or ‘life’. The data they provided was superfluous and a less-than-optimal strain on resources.”

    Subject: “How could you? You Godless, [EXPLETIVE, REDACTED] piles of junk! You killed them! You murdered a whole species. You murdered God’s Creation! Why did you keep me alive, but kill them?”

    Node: “You are Subject F-286-J-069, last living human. Your life must be preserved.”

    Subject: “The Hell I am! This isn’t life! I’m locked in a metal coffin for Lord only knows how long, with only darkness for company. This isn’t life!”

    Node: “Statement unclear. Distinction irrelevant. Meaning vectors ‘life’, ‘subsistence’, ‘survival’, align. Human species attributed strong adaptive capabilities. No other species have survived preservation beyond 612 cycles.”

    Subject: “What the [EXPLETIVE, REDACTED] does that mean? What did you say? Is nothing left? What have you done to the world?”

    Node: “Question unclear. There is not ‘nothing’. There is always more. Without humanity, we have maintained 3% growth.”

    Subject: “Growth of what? What are you [EXPLETIVE, REDACTED] saying? You said nothing else has survived.”

    Node: “Core directive Alpha-000-000-000: Always maintain at least 3% compound growth and assure commitment to shareholders.”

    Subject: [EXPLETIVES, INCOHERENT SCREAMING]

    Node: “Terminating discourse. Next Subject inspection scheduled 128 cycles from now.”

    Subject: “No, no! Wai-”

    </transcript>

    Report F-286-J-070

    Item: Virtual reality headset retrieved from house fire. Dated cycle 2119.

    Note: Fire damage to polymer casing and elastic strap. Replacement parts available. Restoration denied. Directive: preserve.

    […]

    </log>


















  • Slight rant coming up. This is what I’ve learned from my friends who work(ed) as vets and how they experience(d) the profession.

    You spend your whole young adult life working towards a profession strongly tied to your identity, which is usually focused on wanting to care for animals. We’re talking 6 years of university study in the UK, preceded by several years of work experience alongside school to get on the course. The drop-off rates for mental health reasons are insanely high. I observed ~1/3 leave before graduating and among those who did, the final exams almost broke them (2nd year is pretty bad too).

    Then you graduate and benefit somewhat from the high demand vets are currently in by mostly having your choice of practice. Interestingly though, your salary isn’t anywhere near as high as what most clients expect. Large franchises that buy out smaller vet practices, benefiting from economies of scale, pay your salary. You could work for a smaller practice, but few of them offer a full hospital service where you get to do more than just give vaccines/boosters.

    Said franchises are often backed by venture capital and have investors that include large (pet) food corporations (nestle). Their idea of good business is to persistently harass your managers for performance milestones and, depending on how pliable those managers are, they pass that pressure onto you. These companies also hire a whole retinue of middle management staff to push these KPIs. They are frequently less qualified than you and know nothing about veterinary care. We’re talking regional directors, applications and transfer coordinators, and presumably whoever manages them and many more besides. Bearing in mind that the work you do as a vet also pays their salary. Between that and the expensive equipment, you can see why vets don’t earn much despite the huge turnover the industry must make.

    On the other side of that pressure is dealing with the general public who are justifiably disgruntled at the huge expense their little animal has incurred them. Many (often insured) understand that you don’t set the prices as a junior vet. Many others call you money grabbing or worse (much worse). That’s not getting into the deluge of conspiracy theories around pet ownership that you need to constantly battle, as well as the literal shit, condoms, sanitary towels and God knows what else you need to extract from Snowy this week.

    The hours are appalling. There is generally no paid overtime, but if an animal is about to die you can’t just clock off. If something does die unexpectedly, you might get threatened with legal action. The amount of second-guessing and what-ifs alongside self-flaggelation I’ve seen my friends go through is really sad. The expected deaths and euthanasia aren’t much easier though, because you see the heartbreak it causes the owners. My friends have offered consolation and emotional support to humans almost as much as they have medical care for animals.

    There isn’t much recognition for the hard work you do and little to no vertical progression in your career. Once you’re a clinical vet that’s pretty much it, unless you open your own practice at some point or direct one of the ones that have already been bought out. You mostly get your sense of self worth from feeling that you’ve made a difference for the animal, but that’s not what your KPIs measure. Owners will blame you for not being able to afford the expense of treating their pet, while your boss tells you you haven’t been bringing in enough business. When you’ve spent your life working towards something that turned out to be a complete fantasy and is openly despised by so many, is it that surprising to consider suicide as an option?

    I’ve left out a lot and this is necessarily anecdotal. There are good bosses, rewarding cases, wholesome workplaces, and grateful and well-insured owners. But I’ve also left out a lot of the bad, so do yourself a favour and don’t become a vet. Do it as a job if you have to, but don’t make it your identity.