Someone please help me. Im drowning.

I hate my body.

My cousins are here for my brothers birthday tomorrow and they’re all in my sisters room enjoying time together like a normal happy family. And yet again I’m alone feeling like the piece of 💩 of the family.

I wish I actually felt at home with my family like they all do. I just feel miserable all the time and like I should just end it. I’m dependent on my family for a place to stay and I feel like such an outsider. I can’t join in. I’m the joke of the family. Everything is so confusing. And my body feels like shit. I just feel like a ball of poop more than a family member. I wish I could be happy when people are here but it makes me sad because I can’t join in. They think I’m a r*tard.

All I do is doomscroll and bed rot. I don’t even feel alive. I feel like a ghost. I hate the way I look. I just want to feel like I belong in my so called family. Every day is hell.

I wish I felt like I matter.

  • hayyyOPEnglish
    3·
    3 months ago

    💜 I always intend to do basically that but always end up just grabbing my phone. I feel so disconnected to life that I don’t see what the point getting up out of bed and on my feet is. Directionless. Disconnected from my emotions and terrified of being vulnerable to do so. But hating myself and my life for not.

    It’s like everyone else (around me) has a natural drive and I don’t know my place.

    I will try harder to just be thanks to your encouragement:)