Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my story and share their perspectives. I’m genuinely struggling to make sense of everything, and your responses have helped me reflect on things I couldn’t understand on my own.
But Was emotionally cheating on me really necessary? If he wanted to explore other girls or experience life outside our relationship, why couldn’t he just be honest with me and end things instead of keeping me emotionally attached with promises of love and a future together? I could have been heartbroken, but at least I would have had the truth and the choice to walk away. What hurts the most is that he kept reassuring me that I was the person he wanted to spend his life with, only for me to discover that he was exploring other possibilities behind my back.
I know I wasn’t perfect. I was emotionally dependent on him and sometimes struggled to give him space, partly because he had threatened to leave me so many times before. I keep wondering whether things would have been different if I had handled my anxiety better. But I also wonder whether I’m blaming myself for choices that were entirely his responsibility.
One more thing I wanted to share is that this relationship has really affected my self esteem. I’ve started doubting myself and feeling like I’m not good enough. Sometimes I suddenly start crying or feeling anxious, and I find myself punishing myself emotionally for things that happened in the relationship. I’ve even started avoiding mirrors because looking at my face or body makes me question my worth. I know this isn’t healthy, but I don’t know how to stop feeling this way. It’s like his choices have somehow made me question my own worth, even though I know I tried my best to love him…
About cheating…He bought Bumble Premium, talked to 6 …7 girls, put up a bio saying he was looking for a long term relationship, shared his photos and contact details (Instagram and Telegram) with them, and entertained some girls’ sexual fantasies while he was still with me…nd behaving loving but slightly distant like less phone calls nd all…My hands still tremble whenever I remember seeing the photos of the girls he was talking to when I opened his phone.
My exams are near, and I feel like I’ve lost myself completely. I don’t even have any hobbies to distract myself with.
Thank you so much for your kind words❤️ I was literally starting to believe that losing him was the biggest regret of my life because I thought he was the one and that everything was my fault. I’ve been blaming myself so much, wondering if things would have worked out if I’d done things differently. But reading your comment made me feel a little better and reminded me that there’s still so much life ahead of me. I genuinely needed to hear this today. Thank you for giving me a little hope when I was feeling so lost… I hope you always stay happy:)
I’m glad to hear that, and thank you. 😊 I know I needed to hear this when I was in your situation!
I hope things turn around for you as well. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t happen immediately. Meeting the right person can happen right away (luckily for me, like a week after my divorce), or after a long time! And in the latter case, you can have some fun along the way. 😉
And this is important:
This all might be too soon for you to think about right now, moving on and dating other people and stuff, I’m just saying for when you are ready. 🤟 No Rush!
Feel free to hit my DMs if you need to talk or rant or whatever. 😊 I’m here.