Men aren’t raised to do the things expected of a house. Mine cries about vacuuming “who vacuums this often! (Your mom did ffs)” Doesnt cook, cleans like shit, barely does the laundry but never puts it away.
Meanwhile I work like a slave everyday while he plays video games. I am the breadwinner lol I am the bread maker entirely.
So, there’s other problems with flipping the script. Now I want a woman!
Yeah, how men are raised makes a whole lot of a difference. I am not immune to this, but i also acknowledge it.
I have always been a messy guy (actually, in my 20s i would have qualified as a real messie, with only small paths allowing free movement in the apartment). With a lot of therapy i am now able to keep my living space in an acceptable condition (as in “random people can spontaneously come over and i dont have to drown in shame”), but while living with my siginificant other, i struggled a lot with the level of organization and cleanliness she expected (because she grew up in a pretty much upper class household, while i came from a home marred by low income and overwhelmed, inexperienced parents).
For me and my psychiatric issues it was too much to be able to keep up. I really tried as hard as i could, but this really was outside of what i actually could achieve, and the harder i tried, the more i failed - not out of not wanting to do my part, but out of the desperation of knowing that could not keep that up the whole time. It actually caused me to be LESS helpful - the pressure paralyzed me. In many cases i did not even realize something was to be done, because it would have been fine by my standards.
I worked hard on myself to keep the pace, but in the end all my issues (addiction, personality disorder, severe depression, chronic pain) weighted a lot on the relationship, and we separated. Actually, now that i am on my own, things work a lot more smoothly for me - i am in a cycle of “a bit messy” and “very clean” with a cycle time of about 2 weeks, and i am fine with that, but it would never have been for my ex. I am now much closer to something i can deal with long term tho, and that’s the most important thing for me personally.
I always aspired towards a relationship where we shared the load, but sadly my capability to do so is not very pronounced. It’s one of the reasons why i do not seek to get into a new relationship at all, and i doubt this will ever change again. I am not made for long-term cohabitation. That’s valid, but also something that people have to realize for themselves in a world that places so much value on “settling down”.
Men aren’t raised to do the things expected of a house. Mine cries about vacuuming “who vacuums this often! (Your mom did ffs)” Doesnt cook, cleans like shit, barely does the laundry but never puts it away.
Meanwhile I work like a slave everyday while he plays video games. I am the breadwinner lol I am the bread maker entirely.
So, there’s other problems with flipping the script. Now I want a woman!
Yeah, how men are raised makes a whole lot of a difference. I am not immune to this, but i also acknowledge it.
I have always been a messy guy (actually, in my 20s i would have qualified as a real messie, with only small paths allowing free movement in the apartment). With a lot of therapy i am now able to keep my living space in an acceptable condition (as in “random people can spontaneously come over and i dont have to drown in shame”), but while living with my siginificant other, i struggled a lot with the level of organization and cleanliness she expected (because she grew up in a pretty much upper class household, while i came from a home marred by low income and overwhelmed, inexperienced parents).
For me and my psychiatric issues it was too much to be able to keep up. I really tried as hard as i could, but this really was outside of what i actually could achieve, and the harder i tried, the more i failed - not out of not wanting to do my part, but out of the desperation of knowing that could not keep that up the whole time. It actually caused me to be LESS helpful - the pressure paralyzed me. In many cases i did not even realize something was to be done, because it would have been fine by my standards.
I worked hard on myself to keep the pace, but in the end all my issues (addiction, personality disorder, severe depression, chronic pain) weighted a lot on the relationship, and we separated. Actually, now that i am on my own, things work a lot more smoothly for me - i am in a cycle of “a bit messy” and “very clean” with a cycle time of about 2 weeks, and i am fine with that, but it would never have been for my ex. I am now much closer to something i can deal with long term tho, and that’s the most important thing for me personally.
I always aspired towards a relationship where we shared the load, but sadly my capability to do so is not very pronounced. It’s one of the reasons why i do not seek to get into a new relationship at all, and i doubt this will ever change again. I am not made for long-term cohabitation. That’s valid, but also something that people have to realize for themselves in a world that places so much value on “settling down”.