• Urist@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    8 months ago

    You are using the phrase “tone policing” in a way that makes me think you don’t know what it means. threeduck isn’t saying “wow this man shouldn’t be complaining on the internet” or “boy, the wording in this post is HARSH”, he is taking issue with the content of the post, where the man does not recognize that he himself is the originator of these thoughts and places blame (rather indirectly, but he’s still doing it) on immodest women and dress codes.

    His religion has taught him the thoughts themselves are spiritual poison instead of the truth: the thoughts are natural. It is important to recognize them, adjust your behavior depending on the content of those thoughts, and move on. It is natural to see a nice butt and feel attraction. It is not good to continue staring. This is why this post is in religious cringe: His religion has made him to feel as though his own thoughts are sinful, and removed his ability to cope with them in a healthy way. He is harmed.

    I’m rather unhappy about you adopting the phrase “tone policing” here. This phrase is used to describe how oppressed peoples are critiqued when speaking of their oppression. They’re told they are too loud, angry, harsh, etc when they are experiencing violence, loss of rights and property. This man is not oppressed, he just needs some self reflection. No one is taking issue with his tone, only with his inability to recognize his own agency in this situation. I do hope he found good advice on reddit.