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Nero@sopuli.xyz to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

TikTok saves itself from US ban by launching a range of semi-automatic assault rifles

newsthump.com

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TikTok saves itself from US ban by launching a range of semi-automatic assault rifles

newsthump.com

Nero@sopuli.xyz to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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Popular social media platform TikTok is set to avoid a looming U.S. government ban by unveiling its latest product line: TikTok-branded semi-automatic rifles.
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  • SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works
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    Takes off safety

    Annoying tiktok voice: “You won’t believe what happens next!”

    • NegativeInf@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      “My Husband…”

      • renrenPDX@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I hate that I can say this out loud perfectly.

    • Flax@feddit.uk
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      shoots someone by accident

      “Oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no no no!”

  • SpikesOtherDog@ani.social
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    Ate the Onion for one whole second.

  • Flax@feddit.uk
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    Imagine having to watch an ad before reloading

    • LifeOfChance@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Or having to buy the ammo strictly through the tiktok shop

    • hydroptic@sopuli.xyz
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      To reload please drink verification can

      • Flax@feddit.uk
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        1 year ago

        Please solve the captcha before firing your next shot

  • HubertManne@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    hilarious. kinda feels like it would work.

  • Elise@beehaw.org
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    With the sniper rifles you hear the tok before the tik.

  • rgb3x3@beehaw.org
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    They joke, but it would likely work. Become a defense contractor and the US government will let you do anything

    • MyNamesNotRobert@lemmynsfw.com
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      And they really do mean anything. They’re even allowed to assassinate potential whistleblowers.

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      But just “making rifles” doesn’t make you a defense contractor without a contract to supply America’s “defenses” with arms. And if they’re made outside the US they’ll be subject to import laws and could be blocked that way like Russian guns.

  • Kedly@lemm.ee
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    This article title could legitimately make me “eat the onion” if I hadnt noticed the thread name its that good

  • Anticorp@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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    They’d still be banned in Washington State as of January 2024.

  • Finalsolo963@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    Holosun moment

  • reddit_sux@iusearchlinux.fyi
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    I can see this happening…

  • Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world
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    That headline slays like a lonely white guy in a grade school

  • Linkerbaan@lemmy.worldBanned
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    Does the sound alternate for each round

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