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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ulfr on 2024-03-20 23:47:19.

My bathroom door hasn’t actually shut and locked in close to a decade. Courtesy of a family friend’s younger son using his cranium as a battering ram on the door. I also have dogs. Dogs are firm believers in the buddy system while using the facilities.

For the last ten years or so, that bathroom door has been accessible to dogs and humans. Both species just need to give a firm knock and open it goes.

This has created problems in the past, when people who don’t live here either use the bathroom or are attempting to walk past the bathroom, only to be presented with either a new friend who just wants to make sure you’re not ambushed while you pee, or with the sights (and smells!) of someone answering the call of nature. Shy bladder? That’s rough buddy.

It’s been getting on my nerves lately because my pup will knock the door open juuust enough to get in, and then somehow nudge it mostly closed after he’s in. Which you’d think would be fine if you didn’t have a shy bladder, right?

Wrong.

Problem is? He gets bored. You’re just sitting there and grunting. Now he wants out. And he’ll stare and cry until you waddle your ass over and let him out.

So, being an adult male, I went to the hardware store, grabbed a new door knob and the plate thing the latch seats into, realized I’d acquired the wrong hardware, spent some time with a measuring tape, and then did the walk of shame back to the hardware store. Where the same guy who’d sold me the first knob gave me a pitying look. “Been there, done that.” Didn’t make me feel better. But the second time took! And it was set up. And you couldn’t just hip check the door open.

The first dump I’ve taken at home all by myself in about five years. It was freaking amazing.

And then the dog noticed. And there was a scratch. And then a thump. Then a whine. Then a harder thump. Followed by rapid fire scratches and the curious whining sounds a dog makes when he’s having an anxiety attack.

I almost caved because I felt bad. But I stayed strong. Because he needs to learn.

When I’d done my business and opened the door, I was impacted with a 35lb fuzzy little projectile who needed urgent reassurance that I hadn’t died while I was dropping the kids off at the pool.

It’s been two weeks. If anything the anxiety has gotten worse. Now ANY time he hears a door close? He’s up in a flash, making sure nobody’s in the bathroom.

New rule is whenever I’m in the bathroom, I can’t shut the door tight or there’s a big problem.

Gotta love separation anxiety.

TL;DR: Bathroom door required a good knock to open. My dog knew this and abused the privilege. I fixed the door. He made it everyone’s problem. Now I can’t even latch the door I’d just fixed.