Im sure your therapist will help you cope with the situation. On your dime of course.

Giddy up buttercup.

  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
    49·
    6 months ago

    if you’re feeling over stressed then stop by our mental health station where you can have FIFTEEN MINUTES of PAID QUIET TIME as often as once per day AND a FREE CUPCAKE!!!

    (quiet time and free cupcake vouchers require a one time signature of a release form stating that The Company provided you with free mental health counseling and are henceforth no longer liable for any future mental health issues you may experience in perpetuity)

    LETS MAKE IT A GREAT DAY AT THE COMPANY!!!

    • SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee
      5·
      6 months ago

      When I worked at an Amazon warehouse, they had signs in all the toilets telling us we could go and see someone if our mental health was bad. If someone’s mental health was bad it was probably due to their shitty management, work practices, or pay.

      • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
        4·
        6 months ago

        I’m always wary of talking to any mental health professionals who are employed by the company that caused the mental health issues to begin with

    • ulterno@lemmy.kde.socialEnglish
      4·
      6 months ago

      In India, you get bonus SSRIs alongside your cupcake to keep you in line.

      Courtesy, your friendly neighbourhood perpetually high psycho(iatrist)

  • GrymEdm@lemmy.world
    37·
    6 months ago

    HR has set this break aside for people to appreciate our corporate family, so get to it!

  • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world
    20·
    6 months ago

    Every corporate environment I’ve worked in would promote the horses to the whipping positions, and then outsource the cart-pulling to underpaid oxen from India.

  • henfredemars@infosec.pubEnglish
    19·
    6 months ago

    What we’re gonna do is fire two of the horses but the departments going to keep the same workload.

  • LazyBane@lemmy.worldEnglish
    18·
    6 months ago

    When I worked as a cleaner at a supermarket I got moved to the evening shift which used to have two people who got laid off.

    I was on my own and it quickly became apparent that the shift needs two people to actually get everything done. I pointed it out, but the section lead (incompetent nepohire who was literally kicked out of every other section for being a terrible leader) just decided I was being slow.

    Even after I broke down the hour per hour workload, they just insisted I had to learn how to work faster. One “tip” they had was to just throw water everywhere and mop it up to save time. Let’s not even get to the “mental health ping-pong table” they have.

    Whenever I visit that supermarket today it still looks filthy.

    • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de
      7·
      6 months ago

      Yeah, when CEO’s tell you they’re “currently understaffed” or you just need to “work faster” chances are 90% they just want to cut down wage costs.

    • SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee
      2·
      6 months ago

      I did a few weeks for a using a bailer to crush cans. The team lead had worked out that you could do one pallet every 20 minutes. You could, if you did one pallet, but as you did more things backed up.

  • OpenStars@discuss.onlineEnglish
    18·
    6 months ago

    Have you tried… holding more meetings, where you can make a plan to plan to make a plan to make a plan to somehow magically get the work done?! 🪄🧙‍♂️

    Failing to make a plan is planning to fail after all! End of sentence, certainly nothing more possibly needs to be added…

    • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
      12·
      6 months ago

      But they sucked at cleaning the mud. Instead of firing them and increasing turnover, they promoted them to newly created positions and hired others at a lower wage to compensate for the wage increase of the newly minted Executive Mud Cleaners.

  • masquenox@lemmy.world
    7·
    6 months ago

    The obvious solution is for the horse to kick the driver’s head to smithereens and appropriate the wagon.