Firstly: I’m reasonably sure these women are just kvetching. I often say ‘I’d rather drink piss’ to express that I don’t like something. Obviously I’m not actually going to drink piss.

Secondly…I do agree it’s a bit much to compare men to a deadly 1200 pound predator. I would be a bit fed up of hearing that too if I were a guy.

Thirdly…that said…I understand WHY women say that even if it’s a bit ridiculous. I’ve had a male friend completely turn on a dime and send me rape threats while drunk. I pleaded and tried to reason with him for about 20 minutes before I completely snapped and threatened to do things to him with a hunting knife that I won’t detail because there’s no need to make people vomit. Only then did he back off and switch to making excuses and blaming his autism. It was terrifying because there was no reasoning with him. He LIKED that I was frightened and freaked out. It gave him a pleasurable power rush. The only reason he backed off was the threat of said hunting knife.

A bear isn’t malicious. A bear just wants to eat. A bear can be redirected or avoided. You can do things such as wear a bell or carry mace or put up an electric fence around a tent. A man isn’t necessarily malicious but IF he is…those precautions won’t do jack poopsies because he consciously knows the woman doesn’t want it and LIKES the act of stomping on boundaries.

  • SattaRIP@kbin.social
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    2 months ago

    I’ve not commented on this yet, but I feel like giving my piece now. I hope other men will listen. As a cis male I think women feeling that a bear is safer to be around than a random man is justified. I’ve heard enough horror stories… And I’d say I have enough emotional intelligence to tell women have heard or even experienced far more. None of this is to say men can’t be treated the same, or that only men are perpetrators of violence, sexual or otherwise.

    I had to unlesrn a lot of misogynistic beliefs, which involved getting over the self victimization of thinking misandry is at all comparable to misogyny, let alone equally bad.

    Something men also fail to realize, I’ve noticed, is that patriarchy hurts them too, far more than feminism ever could. Patriarchy involves men reaching for an ideal version of themselves that doesn’t exist. Every man ever will have qualities the rest of society might consider feminine. It could be something like being gay, being sensitive like myself, or even something as simple as not liking the same things other men do… I’ve seen the kinds of people who end up at the top of patriarchal hierarchies, we all have. Strong men dictators or dictator wannabes like Trump or Putin are who I’m thinking of. These men are so insecure about their masculinity they artificially elevate it, and they may be worshipped by the masses who think one person can and will solve all their problems… but in the end it’s clear men elevated to this level are the most disgusting type of people, inside and out. Their place of power makes it so that when they fuck up, they receive no consequences. Others do instead.

    In Iran where I grew up, I’d say patriarchy was stronger than here in North America, if such a thing can be measured as such. More than here, there the only emotions we were allowed to feel was: fear of our higher ups, anger towards those lower, and lust towards those lower but only kept secret. No compassion, empathy, etc. Nobody really believes the Islamic Republic’s propaganda, not even their supporters. But that doesn’t mean it has zero effect. Boys I grew up around were so quick to dismiss simple rules of consent as if it was nothing. Segregating men and women makes things extremely tense between them, to out it mildly. And that’s nor getting into how queer folk are affected.

    I could go on endlessly about this, but I feel satisfied for now. I’ll wnd with saying that the men who are mad at women expressing how they feel, telling them they’re wrong should, instead, direct that anger at men who’d make them feel that way.

    • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Big time agree. A group that’s not talked about enough is the Men’s liberation movement from the 60s/70s, who were the ones to popularize the term “toxic masculinity”, referring to the unhealthy standards men grow up learning to emulate for fear of rejection or being mad fun of.

      The majority of women are not telling men to repress, be aggreisve or not to report abuse. It’s other men who mock victims for being “a wuss”. It’s frustrating how a lot of men can recognize the stigma against any perceived vulnerability but not make the connection that it’s their father’s, brothers, friends and malr social figures (like Andrew tate) that are the ones enforcing that BS.

      All people suffer under the patriarchy, women from forced submission and men from regression and unhealthy unobtainable standards. For your own sake dudes, at least direct your frustration at the true source.