They laid off almost everyone at my old job on a few Monday’s back. I was already trying to get off pot and booze because they were frankly killing me. I had started Wellbutrin but it was still the 2 week period where that stuff kicks in. When I got told that I was going to be let go I had a really bad mental breakdown. I have PTSD from having an utter shit childhood and really bad episodic MDD. I could not focus and was crying in public which has not happened in a while. I also might have been hearing voices but they are not there anymore. I ended up in a partial hospitalization program under recommendation of my therapist and while it sounded scary it has turned my life around in only 3 days of going.

Next step is they are going to be putting me on Abilify to even out the spikes I have been having. While the Wellbutrin is handling some of my ADHD I want to see if I can change it to 300mg to see if it squashes it along with my MDD episodes that its handling now. The psychologist says I should not be scared of the Abilify even tho I kind of am. She says it will even out the spikes and dips I have been having. Those are what are causing me to cry. I read on the internet too it should be helpful with my autism spectrum issues.

I have been white knuckling it alone for so long that seeing some light on the horizon makes me want to cry with joy. I just hope some of the bridges I have burned can be built back up again because I have left a trail of fire behind me. I am really hoping to figure out this whole vegan thing that I have been so hardcore in hating now that I am not consumed by thoughts of death.

Lastly, I dont know if any of you have had some experiences with Abilifiy if you do I would like to hear about them bad or good. Thank you for reading this my friends, and if you think there is no hope out there remember that other humans have beat what you have and you dont have to go at it alone.