• AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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    11 months ago

    It can be a powerful thing to realise that you’re not a failed neurotypical. It can provide context to past experiences, which can provide closure, even years later.

    Plus, there must have been something that prompted this guy to be assessed and diagnosed - a common pattern I’ve seen is people who never really are coping, but they keep kicking the ball down the road because what else can you do? It feels like chronic sleep deprivation over a long period, where you can keep pushing yourself, but eventually you burn out.

    In terms of other ways it can help, finding community is a big thing. I was diagnosed in my teens, so quite a different story to the guy here, but I learned that many autistic people struggle with sensory processing and this made so much sense because I’ve always found sound and light overstimulating. Tinted glasses (not quite as dark as sunglasses) and noise cancelling headphones have helped me a lot.

    Plus, when it comes to interpersonal relationships, autism provides a toolbox of terms that I can use to explain things. There was a paper some years back that explored a phenomenon called the “double empathy problem”, and roughly speaking, it found that communication between two autistics is fine, as is communication between two neurotypicals. However, things get rocky when an autistic and a neurotypical try to communicate. It reframed communication difficulties associated with autism as a communication compatibility issue, rather than a deficit integral to autism. In practice, this insight means that if I am negotiating a tricky communication problem with a neurotypical partner, it’s easier if we understand it as a compatibility problem.

    An analogy I’ve always liked for autism is that it’s like running on a different operating system. There isn’t a strictly better option, because it depends on what you’re trying to do. My brain is much more inclined to certain things and getting my diagnosis helped me to begin to realise that. But it’s pretty demoralising to be running Linux and continually trying and failing to run programs from .exe files. They’re build for windows and it can feel like you’re a failure for not being able to run them. However, understanding and embracing one’s differences can be empowering because it means realising that you can run Windows programs, if you use software like Wine.