I’ve been having quite a stressful period of exams recently and at one point I started feeling a mixture of burnt out and depressed. I immediately stopped preparing for the exams, and to ease the thought that I would need to manage 2 more years of this (this is what triggered the depression), I started making plans to switch to an easier degree.
Usually when I feel depressed I know exactly why (my mind tunnel visions on the big picture problem and blocks out the present), and once I address the cause I begin to feel hopeful again. But this time, although doing these things eased the immediate feeling of burnout, I have carried on feeling depressed. I am usually a humorous person so I tried to watch my favourite comedy to rekindle my playfulness but I felt completely numb to the jokes and nuance in it that I usually appreciate. Same when I tried to socialize.
I’ve removed the cause so I don’t understand why I’m still depressed and what else I need to do to make my mind operate normally again. Could it be from other unadressed things in my life that have been in the background? Does anyone have any ideas?
Is it possible that the idea of switching to a different degree, while easier, may be less fulfilling in someway? Often the challenge of a certain thing is what inherently makes it fulfilling, and “solving” that challenge by simply not doing it may not really have addressed the cause.
I was just thinking about this actually. Perhaps it’s because I’m trapped in a choice with stress either way: either stress from completing a demanding degree, or stress from the imposter syndrome I’d get from trying to get into the field I’m interested in with a easier but less relevant degree. :-/