• WoahWoah@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    2 months ago

    Turn schools into prisons. Yard time, guard towers, defensive walls, barbed wire, full-time security, all visitors logged, everyone goes through the metal detectors, no one goes to the bathroom alone, no personal belongings allowed in the cells, errrr, classrooms, no windows.

    See? Problem solved. School! Yayyy!

    • Nightwingdragon@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      2 months ago

      Unless they’re forced to live in the Fortress of Suck for the next 13 years of their lives and never, ever leave, there’s still the bottleneck that will happen every morning and every afternoon as kids come to and from school. They’ll be in a nice little stationary, single file line waiting to get into the building, or waiting for their children so they could leave.

      I mean, the would-be murderer still needs to figure out how to kill large quantities of people standing in a nice single-file line and not moving. It’s not like he’d have some kind of semi-automatic weapons easily available to them that can turn people into various splattermarks on the ground before they even have a chance to react, ri…oh…

      • WoahWoah@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        2 months ago

        Yeah, basically you drop your kid off when they turn 6 and then they serve their twelve-year sentence…errrr, I mean education, and you pick them up again when they are released/graduate. They are allowed to have one visit a month though, but we can remove that policy, that way the only exposure will be on the days they’re being dropped off and picked up. Given the distribution of birthdays, this should keep total numbers at any one priso… school low enough to make other targets more appealing for the would-be shooter.

        I’m glad to have worked on this with you, and I’m glad that we’ve saved public education in the United States. Ohhhhhsayyyycanuuuuuseeeee

        • Nightwingdragon@lemmy.worldOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          2 months ago

          Given the distribution of birthdays, this should keep total numbers at any one priso… school low enough to make other targets more appealing for the would-be shooter.

          Actually, assuming an even distribution of birthdays, this would mean that populations at any one cam…I mean school, of course…would be roughly evenly distributed. No deterrent for a would-be shooter who can just pick any school and expect similar results. No bueno. I think a better way of doing it would be to separate them by race skin tone ethnicity common background. Yeah, that’s it. Common background. Because there’s no racism or anything. Separating them by <cough> common background will make the groups small enough where even if the shooter does attack, at least the body counts will be kept to a minimum. I mean it’s not like there’s any other reason why a shooter may want to target people with certain common backgrounds, so we’re just really protecting these kids while they’re at these cam…schools. So they can, uh, concentrate. Yeah. Concentration. That’s the word of the day. We may be on to something here godblessamericalandthatIlove…