My relationship with my body is bit of a rollercoaster, I will live my body and dislike it for being too skinny etc. I am slowly but surely starting to like my body more which one way is fashion which is wearing shorter shorts.
I think also I have a bad habit of conparing jorks/beefy men from porn and wish I have that body as well.
You’re not the only one, so take comfort in not being alone in this at the very least. Porn destroys realistic expectations, not only of sex itself, but of what is expected from body types. It’s never something to measure against, the same way that you shouldn’t compare yourself to a world-class body builder as someone who works out.
I understand that words mean little in the face of societal pressure though. If you’re truly unhappy with an aspect of your body within your control (weight (to a degree) or fitness), we as humans have the ability to make changes over time of we want. However, body types in general are static and yours is beautiful. You might not be a beefy porn actor, but I promise you there are millions of people who would go weak at the knees seeing your body. Just because it’s not society’s twisted version of “desirable” doesn’t mean it’s undesirable.
Finding ways of accenting the parts you love, as stated in your post, is a great way of making strides toward appreciating the body you have. You got this!