Look man, I don’t know what to tell you. Cats have bones sometimes. Sometimes they don’t. The cat tells you when the cats have bones. That’s just how it works. The cats decide what the world is. We just coexist in their world.
One time I was watching tv, and I heard a duck in my kitchen. Which was confusing, because I don’t have a duck. Where did a duck come from? So I go into my kitchen, and see my cat.
I say “Speed! Did you see a duck?”
And she said “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re eluding to! There’s no duck in this home!”
So I said “I heard a duck…is there a duck outside? It sounded loud enough to be in here.”
And she said “Look around! Do you SEE a duck? Why would we have a duck? You calling me a liar, boy? Check the damn cabinets!”
And so I look in the cabinets, and there’s no duck.
She says “Woooowwwwww, really??? You just legit checked the cabinets for a hidden duck that I’m hiding from you, and lying about. For what purpose? You think I’m in this kitchen, crafting a diabolical scheme, to hide a duck away like she’s damn Anne Frank! First off, I’m inside with Karmalee all day! You think Karmalee would tolerate living with a duck??? You once brought home a little tiny kitten, and I was cool with that. But Karmalee? Aw hell nah! She raised a bitch fit, and tried to kill it. And you think she’s just going to let a duck in here. But let’s move past that. Lets start off by saying Karmalee WERE cool with it. Where would I get a duck? Am I going to escape this apartment, go down the hall, knock on Georges door, hope he’s sober enough to stand, and open the door? I can’t understand a damn thing he says! It’s like living next to a nonmusical ozzy osborne. But ok, let’s say George got me a duck, because we’re cool like that. What am I going to do with a duck? What’s the motivation here? Think it through man! It makes no sense! A duck benefits nobody.”
And so, I give up. There’s no duck. So I sit back on the couch in the living room. And then I hear a frog in the kitchen.
I peek back in and it’s still Speed, looking at me likr “Bitch I motherfuckin dare you! Say what! Say what again! Say what one more god damn time!”
So I don’t know what to tell you. Cats decide if and when they have bones. YOU just exist.
Look man, I don’t know what to tell you. Cats have bones sometimes. Sometimes they don’t. The cat tells you when the cats have bones. That’s just how it works. The cats decide what the world is. We just coexist in their world.
One time I was watching tv, and I heard a duck in my kitchen. Which was confusing, because I don’t have a duck. Where did a duck come from? So I go into my kitchen, and see my cat.
I say “Speed! Did you see a duck?”
And she said “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re eluding to! There’s no duck in this home!”
So I said “I heard a duck…is there a duck outside? It sounded loud enough to be in here.”
And she said “Look around! Do you SEE a duck? Why would we have a duck? You calling me a liar, boy? Check the damn cabinets!”
And so I look in the cabinets, and there’s no duck.
She says “Woooowwwwww, really??? You just legit checked the cabinets for a hidden duck that I’m hiding from you, and lying about. For what purpose? You think I’m in this kitchen, crafting a diabolical scheme, to hide a duck away like she’s damn Anne Frank! First off, I’m inside with Karmalee all day! You think Karmalee would tolerate living with a duck??? You once brought home a little tiny kitten, and I was cool with that. But Karmalee? Aw hell nah! She raised a bitch fit, and tried to kill it. And you think she’s just going to let a duck in here. But let’s move past that. Lets start off by saying Karmalee WERE cool with it. Where would I get a duck? Am I going to escape this apartment, go down the hall, knock on Georges door, hope he’s sober enough to stand, and open the door? I can’t understand a damn thing he says! It’s like living next to a nonmusical ozzy osborne. But ok, let’s say George got me a duck, because we’re cool like that. What am I going to do with a duck? What’s the motivation here? Think it through man! It makes no sense! A duck benefits nobody.”
And so, I give up. There’s no duck. So I sit back on the couch in the living room. And then I hear a frog in the kitchen.
I peek back in and it’s still Speed, looking at me likr “Bitch I motherfuckin dare you! Say what! Say what again! Say what one more god damn time!”
So I don’t know what to tell you. Cats decide if and when they have bones. YOU just exist.