Just about every episode of MASH I’ve seen, somebody claims that they hate Korea, or that they hate the stupid Army, or that they don’t even know why they’re at war. I don’t get it. Why don’t they all go home? If nobody wants to work there, how come they never leave?
Please respond with wrong answers.
Hot Lips.
I asked for wrong answers, but that’s good too.
You’re supposed to ask why Hot Lips is there.
Yeah! Why is Hot Lips there anyway?
I’m glad you asked. Hot Lips Houlihan, the woman who could talk a snake out of its skin, is staying in Vietnam. She’s hawking war bonds to grunts! I swear she could sell ice cream to an Eskimo.
I’ll start: they don’t want to leave Korea because the California mountains are too beautiful.
Klinger is secretly an agent sent to discourage anybody trying get out on phony section 8 discharges.
Sparky and Sofie are having an affair.
Rosie’s bar has been micro-dosing everyone with opium. They get “home sick” when they try to leave camp for more than a day or two. The doctors and hot lips know. But the addiction has them too far gone to fight it anymore.
“Be it ever so crumbled, there is no place like home.” Darkest one so far. Awesome!



