I was going to make my own post but yours is basically my situation. I am the one who isn’t really on top of it, like your partner. We both have our own bank accounts that we get our checks deposited into and then we have a joint bank account that we both contribute to. We have an excel spreadsheet for all of our bills and expenses. We take the total number and divide by two and each pay in our half. We make roughly the same amount of money so that is what we came up for “fair” on our joint bills. We also account for vacation funds and small/large projects and emergency funds. It’s nice to have a round amount that I’m expected to put in every check. It’s reliable

We each pay our car note out of what’s left over after contributing to the joint account. What’s left over in our personal accounts is for personal expenses like snacks and gas. It’s also how we pay for our own hobbies. It’s also a good way to hide a purchase like a birthday present.

If asked, I would show her my personal bank statements and she would show me hers. There’s not really any mystery as to what goes on with our personal accounts. They’re mostly used to save up for things the other wouldn’t get anything out of. I couldn’t expect my wife to throw down on a guitar she would never use for example.

The flip side of that is: why don’t we just put it all in the same account and give each other a hobby allowance? I don’t have a good answer. Maybe we will go that way some day.

Just wanted to add on to the conversation. I didn’t start out as a very responsible person. Getting on a budget and having a bed time are the things that changed my life the most