I just wanted to share that you don’t have to be “traditionally beautiful” to be considered a woman. I am a woman. I am aware I don’t conform to society’s vision of a woman. But I am a woman.

  • Hyperreality@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Look, I’m just a weird straight guy who stumbled upon this sub and knows nothing about trans stuff or the correct terminology.

    You look fine girl, but you really need to google camera angles and how to pose for pictures. No one looks at their best if they take a picture from below with their chin tucked in.

    Take a picture from a slightly higher angle, lean forward from the waist and stretch out the neck towards the camera. Really exagerate it, the camera won’t be able to tell. You’ll look 10x better.

    Oh, and all of you… don’t spend too much time on the internet comparing yourself to photoshopped pictures of models caked in make-up. Most cisgender women don’t look like that either. Women come in different shapes and sizes. Given how many of my cisgender friends have been harassed on their way to take a shit, just because they weren’t wearing make-up, you guys should worry less about conforming to distorted societal expectations of what a woman should look like and realise it’s not a you problem that you sometimes don’t meet those expectations.

    • EsheLynn@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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      1 year ago

      Trust me, I never claimed to be a photographer, just an idiot with a phone lol. But ya, I’ll take those tips in mind. I really do want to take better pics of myself. Thank you for trying to help!

    • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
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      1 year ago

      I appreciate that you’re trying to be helpful, but could you edit your comment to change “genetic XX” to “cisgender” or “cis”. I understand what you’re trying to say, but language equating gender with genetics is not allowed on here. We try and keep this space safe for all transfeminine people, and we are often invalidated by people claiming we aren’t truly women because of our chromosomal configuration.

      So if you could, please edit the wording. For clarity sake, cisgender means that you are the gender you were assigned at birth. So if when you were born the doctor said that you’re a girl and to this day you still identify as a girl/woman, that would make you cisgender.

      • Hyperreality@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        I edited it. Not used to talking about this stuff, so I forgot the newer term.

        To be clear, I used XX as an adjective. As in some women are fat, some are thin, some are French, some are XX, some are XY, some are American. I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise or cause discomfort

        But now I think of it and if I’m not mistaken, there’s also non-trans XX men and non-trans XY women. So besides not using less offensive terminology, I wasn’t technically correct either. Some XY women aren’t trans. AFAIK it’s possible to be cisgender and non-genderconforming. It’s all very confusing, nature’s like that and always has been, despite most of us being taught to think in binaries from a young age.

        I’m rambling. I’m going to go away now. TLDR: ignore the dickheads. be happy.

  • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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    1 year ago

    Frida Kahlo would like to take part on the debate of what “traditionally beautiful” means. That woman broke every single stereotype on the book for her time and still she was the idol and envy of many.

    Be happy and have a nice weekend.

    • EsheLynn@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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      1 year ago

      I noticed I do have older auntie vibes on my good days. Not a bad thing, just wish I had a chance to be a hot valley girl, but, not in the cards I guess.

      • DessertStorms@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Sorry, I didn’t mean you give out an older vibe at all, it’s definitely a “cool aunt” vibe, the one the niblings come to for advice about sex and drugs and stuff they wouldn’t want to talk to their parents about…

        From the UK, and the valleys here probably don’t have the same style that you mean lol but if it’s a look you wanna try I say explore and have fun! Either way, you already strike this random stranger as stylish and confident 😊

        • EsheLynn@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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          1 year ago

          Oh, I took no offense at all! I get the cool older aunt vibes. I pick up the same thing lol. Ya, I wish I could go all Cali girl, short shorts, crop top, but, it wouldn’t be very flattering on my body.

          And ya, I just try to make do with what I have.

          • DessertStorms@kbin.social
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            1 year ago

            Ok, I’m glad!

            I can definitely relate to wanting to wear a style you think/know you can’t pull off, but also know that we’re generally our own worst critics, seeing things about ourselves others would never notice, so it’s a balancing act between wearing what makes you happy and not pushing yourself too far that you then feel uncomfortable just to fit an image you have in your head (I won’t even go in to what creates these “ideal” images in our minds in the first place).

            One tip I got years ago that has fixed many outfits for me - choose top or bottom to be the focus point, so if you’re wearing a fancy skirt, pair it with a more subtle top, or if it’s a sexy top, pair with more subtle bottom, that way it doesn’t become “too much”. With that in mind, maybe try short shorts with a slightly longer more flowing top? Or a crop top with some high waisted jeans? I could definitely see you working a halter top, you’ve got the collarbone for it.

            Anyway, sorry for the unsolicited advice… 😂

  • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
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    1 year ago

    Traditional beauty is never what I’m referring to when I say someone is beautiful. Traditional beauty is the male standard of beauty for women. We can sit here and debate camera angles and all that all day, but it doesn’t matter. I honestly think the angle of the pictures is candid and sweet. You made a post declaring “I am a woman” and the picture shows you as you are. There’s pride in that.

    As women we can define beauty for ourselves. I think you’re a beautiful woman. I think that transitioning and choosing to be ourselves in a world of adversity is beautiful. And I hope that you are able to see the beauty of your own womanhood too :)

  • FfaerieOxide@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    You got an AnCom thing going with the colors and the angle of the strap on what I have to assume is a messenger bag.

  • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    You’ve got my respect, that’s for sure. Thanks for sharing, I am starting to see that I need to just exist as I am 🤷‍♀️ I’m a woman, too!