I don’t know where the purpose of my life is. I looked where I last saw it and it isn’t there anymore. It’s like losing your keychain. All I can do is hope I forgot it somewhere at home because I sure can’t go outside without it. I wanna find joy in things again, and it is so difficult to get you shit together when everything feels so meaningless.
The more I look for the keys the more I fear I lost them for good. Which makes me not wanna search for them at all and just distract myself with random stuff. I think that describes my situation quite well.
Anyway I’m sad. But I hope you all are doing okay!
I don’t know if this is depression as well. I have struggles I feel like I partially navigated myself into and now I’m NEET with depleting resources, but the way out is overwhelming, hostile and exhausting.
I was at the point of not knowing where I’m going and not knowing what a meaningful and fulfilling life actually entails, but now I’m not so sure if that feeling’s still there, because it led me to lose the grasp to it and now other seemingly mundane problems overshadow the search for meaning.
I should’ve gotten help when that was not miles away and now waiting for it is scary. So, if you’ve got good friends, therapy and general stability, be careful with isolation.