“Now this—this is the greatest sandwich ever created. We’re talking historic. It’s got the best balloney—the best, not that fake deli junk—they say it’s 100% truth meat, just like me. The Russian dressing? It’s strong, it’s bold, it respects strength. Putin himself said, ‘Donald, this dressing is beautiful.’ And the pickle—tiny, yes, but it gets the job done. Tremendous flavor, very efficient. Some people are even saying it’s a perfect sandwich—maybe even the most masculine sandwich of all time. Crooked media won’t admit it, but they’re eating it too, behind closed doors. Everybody wants a bite of the Trump Sandwich. It wins. It just wins.”
“Now this—this is the greatest sandwich ever created. We’re talking historic. It’s got the best balloney—the best, not that fake deli junk—they say it’s 100% truth meat, just like me. The Russian dressing? It’s strong, it’s bold, it respects strength. Putin himself said, ‘Donald, this dressing is beautiful.’ And the pickle—tiny, yes, but it gets the job done. Tremendous flavor, very efficient. Some people are even saying it’s a perfect sandwich—maybe even the most masculine sandwich of all time. Crooked media won’t admit it, but they’re eating it too, behind closed doors. Everybody wants a bite of the Trump Sandwich. It wins. It just wins.”
There could honestly be a competition of who can do the best trump impression.
That was way too coherent. You need to nuke that structure to the Stone Age to make it authentic.