cross-posted from: https://thelemmy.club/post/29036145
My fiancé David seems to have an “I can fix him” mindset with his friend Sean. David is always making excuses of Sean’s toxic behavior towards him and stuff.
Sean clearly does not like him. Sean is always ranting and blowing up at David. He never wants to talk to David or hang out with him. He makes David really sad but David wants to keep his promise to always be Sean’s friend and thinks he can fix Sean or something.
I appreciate that David is trying not to talk to Sean anymore. I’ve just been worried about him that his friendship with him is one-sided and not the best, but I can’t control him and I don’t want to at all.
I just don’t know what to do. Kind suggestions, please?
Sean left a rant saying: (shortened, paraphrased) HOW DARE YOU JOIN THE MILITARY WITHOUT MY PERMISSION
I’M IN SO MUCH PAIN. I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND NO ONE TO TALK TO AND YOU HAVE FRIENDS AND A FIANCÉE AND YOU DONT LIKE ME OR EVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME AT ALL
I’VE TRIED SO HARD JUST TO BE YOUR FRIEND BUT YOU DON’T APPRECIATE ME ENOUGH. YOU’RE SO UNGRATEFUL OMG YOU SUCK.
YOU ALWAYS SAY YOUR LIFE SUCKS, YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT MINE?? IM MISERABLE!!!
Enlisting in the military is a big deal. My closest friends would say the same to me if I enlisted without asking for their thoughts, first.
Sounds like Sean thought they’re closer friends than they are. They’re probably going to mourn that realization for awhile.
Edit: Sometimes we have friends that we decide to be there for, in spite of a lot of stupid and drama. It’s expensive, and I have sometimes regretted it. But more times it’s turned out well for me. I would give them space, but remind David to take the time he needs.
Awww, I never thought of it that way. Thank you. I’ll remind David to take the time he needs and hope for Sean to recover. Thanks so much
Aww man, I’m sorry. Honestly, David should leave, it sounds like they’re better off without contact for awhile, regardless of David wanting to be his friend. It seems David likes him (platonically) and Sean does not feel the same way and neither should talk to each other until Sean can figure himself out.
