I’ll vent a bit here to get started. When I was 15 I was sexually assaulted by a woman and no one would believe me. Or if they did believe me, it was the “well what’s the problem, was she ugly or something?” Usual spiel. I still have PTSD over this but I cannot speak of it to anyone because it’s the same shit over and over again. When I was 16 my girlfriend put out her cigarette on me for the first time. This would continue for the next year and a half before I managed to leave her. I still have over a dozen scars inflicted by her.
I have an EXTREMELY hard time trusting anyone or forming attachments in general because of what’s been done to me and I really don’t have anyone to talk to about it other than my brother, who went through his own physical. When I was 21 I got into a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and I let that go on for three years because I had been conditioned into thinking that it was normal, and I had to just “man up” and take it in my previous relationship so I considered the step down from physical abuse to be a bit of a blessing. It wasn’t.
I wish I had had someone to tell me that none of this was okay, that I did not have to let myself suffer through these things, that just because I was a man did not mean that I was a free ride to whoever wanted me and I shouldn’t compain because I “got some”, that I am a human being who has feelings and emotions and should be allowed to express them without being threatened with physical harm.
I want everyone in this place to be that kind of person for everyone else in this place. I want this to be a place free of judgement to share the things that you can’t share with others. And I want us to come together as a community to support everyone who comes here seeking help. Life fucking sucks but together we can make it a little less sucky.
I’m so sorry that you suffered through that. Thanks for creating this space ♥️
It was hard. I have more but I didn’t want to dump TOO hard right away lol. Also thank you for joining! I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing but hey, congrats on being the first post!
Good luck, feel free to join [email protected] to discuss with other community builders
I have a couple of friends but only one of them reached out to me when my ex left me. He was the one taking initiative and picked me up, took me for a drive in his car and we just talked. I could never have known how important this was and since then I feel safe with talking to him about pretty much anything. Always gives advice and thoughts about stuff.
It is really important to have someone you can talk to and it seems like there are a lot of people who doesn’t have this in their life. You live your life and think that some stuff is normal while it isn’t because you can’t know better.
Sad that you had to live through all of this and hope that things turn better and that more people can have this place as a safeground and open up and get help.
It is really important to have someone you can talk to and it seems like there are a lot of people who doesn’t have this in their life. You live your life and think that some stuff is normal while it isn’t because you can’t know better.
Exactly. And I’m hoping this place can be an opportunity for people who don’t have someone like that in their life to get some support and guidance they may be otherwise lacking
i have been assaulted and harassed and faced domestic violence from women. sometimes from same women. sometimes indirectly, by women I rejected who claimed I SA them as a way to ‘get back’ at me. (thankfully they got caught because they did it to other men as well)
it sucks. no one will ever believe you. you have to deal with it alone. but some people will own up to their mistakse. I had some people apologize to me after they harassed by based on false SA claims.
but there are good people out there. they are just hard to find. you will find them. you just gotta remember they exist when you come across that next shitty person who wants to exploit and abuse you.
but also you get better at recognizing the shitty people in your life, and around you. and that lets you give yourself the peace and happiness you deserve.
but also don’t be afraid to tell people. because that will tell you who they are. if you tell someone about your history and they say ‘well what did you to do deserve it?’ you just saved yourself from being with another shitty person.
That’s horrible, I know how terrifyingly alone and isolated that can make you feel. One word and all of a sudden you’re entirely alone in the universe. Well you’re not alone here :) And you are right, there are a lot of good people out there, it’s important to not get stuck in the “everyone is an enemy” type of view. It is really hard to trust again but as you say, there are people out there who will prove to you that it’s worth it to trust again. Maybe you’d like to make a full post here? There are people willing to listen and to help if you wanted to give a full vent
The fact most of your accounts are in the past tense means you’re going in the right direction.
