Explanation: In discussions of the ‘best’ Roman Emperors, Antoninus Pius often goes unnoticed in popular histories. While Augustus founded the Empire (a point against him honestly, by my reckoning), Trajan expanded it to its greatest extent, and Aurelian saved it from dissolution… Pius…
Did nothing. For 23 years.
At first that seems unremarkable, but autocratic regimes are generally unstable. 23 years of peace and quiet is not simply “party boy sits on his ass”, but the result of immensely competent and measured responses to every issue that comes up. 23 years of peace is a remarkable achievement - Pius had no great conquests to his name (other than a little sliver of Britain at the very start of his reign), but he invested in public infrastructure for clean water in the provinces, in public charity, in restricting the power of the Emperor (didn’t last, but it was a nice thought and I respect it!), in legal reform to presume innocence before guilt is proven, and in the provision of (limited) legal protections for slaves and minorities.
He did all of that while ensuring a budget surplus, supporting philosophy and the arts, reducing taxes, and being a good father to his two adoptive sons.
We love Gigachad NPC Antoninus Pius in this house!
There are no records of his involvement in military acts during his tenure, with J. J. Wilkes noting that he likely never saw or commanded a Roman army and was never within five hundred miles of a legion throughout his twenty-three-year reign.
Be me, Roman emperor, “What is a legion?”
And you say he did nothing? That seems like a lot to me.
Things that usually won’t show up on a timeline of events, at least! Lots of small things that add up to improving people’s lives - but not much glory.
His successor was also good which is a point in his favor.
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.
Fine I’m going to rewatch Futurama
If you never stop watching Futurama you never have to start a rewatch
*taps forehead*
Man I wish our government was less pious and more pius
Big mood, tbqh.
all i could see…

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