The what?..
The Legend Of Zelda director Wes Ball
Oh great, so lets just give a beloved video game franchise of 30+ years, with all its rich lore and stories, and massive generational fan following… to a young, no-name director who has never made a movie above 6.8. Whose highest achievement is being nominated in a niche category of a niche film academy.
and who is writing this screenplay?..
Derek Connolly and T.S. Nowlin
actual nobodies. Like, straight to VHS level nobodies.
And you’re telling me, Nintendo signed off on this, but can’t afford to hire quality professionals for one of the largest, international flagship franchise? Nintendo, can’t afford it? This shit is gonna be Mario Bros (1993) all over again. Not even a quick cash grab… Nintendo doesn’t need the cash, it’s just shitting on fans because they can… which is VERY Nintendo.
And it will come with a weird love side story because reasons. Even though most of the Zelda games she only appears for brief moments.
The 93 Mario Brothers movie was an absolute fucking masterpiece.
It was genuinely original and had meaningful commentary while also reinterpreting the entire mythos in a grungy post-apocalyptic cyberpunk futuristic slum that somehow lost none of its whimsy.
Audiences didn’t get it because they just weren’t ready.
this is revisionist nostalgia grift shit.
No, it wasn’t.
It was trash, has always been trash. Now there’s a small group of people trying to make themselves out as the “oh so quirky, you just don’t get it” cool kids. Reimagining the movie as though it was something it was not. It wasn’t a subversion of capitalism or cyberpunk… it wasn’t some misunderstood masterpiece… it was 90’s cocaine capitalist marketing team movie/toy/game tie-in meant to squeeze as much value as possible from kids and parents who wanted their kids to shut up for 90 minutes. Just like everything else in that time.
People, today, trying to make it out as something more just want to sell nostalgia/indie bait for clicks and watch time.
EDIT: actually, I’ll add, it’s not just grfity nostalgia bs. The movie was so bad, that it was a meme to make fun of it as though it was some serious cyberpunk dystopia. But, internet being internet, can’t tell the difference between authenticity and ridicule, and so they started to believe it. Literally no-one was calling the 90’s MarioBros movie a “masterpiece” until around 5 years ago, when it fell back into the cultural zeitgeist to mock it. Nearly 30 years, no-one is giving this movie any accolades until it becomes the “in” thing, an indie meme, “you probably wouldn’t understand… no one gets it”…
I saw that movie in the theater.
It was one of the coolest things I had ever seen at that point. I understand that a lot of people don’t consider it great cinema but it really was new and unique. Maybe I’m just a weirdo because I grew up on 80s cyberpunk action movies and anime but I really enjoyed it.
At the time I couldn’t understand what it had to do with Mario other than the names of the people in the movie and I thought wild reimaginings of the source material was kind of a cool idea too.
I had spent a lot more time playing super Mario world than Mario 2+3 so I sort of expected magic to show up at some point too, maybe in a sequel.
Have you seen it since then with an adult perspective?
The only good thing that movie did was invent Look Up Tables.
Flame was an 8-bit linear software package, and so they needed to write lookup tables, LUTs, that would re-map the data to a display so that we could see the full range of image that we were supposed to be working with, because we couldn’t actually view them in log colourspace. Oh, and by the way, this is technology that ILM had spent years figuring out, right? And there we are just rocking up and going, ‘Oh okay, how do we, what?
I didn’t know that they put this much effort into the Mario Movie.
It’s honestly sad to learn how much effort was put into the Mario Bros. Movie, and what it turned into.
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I know how fucking sad. Nintendo just straight up hates their customers. Never makes any sense.
Edit: don’t forget the nobody actors to go along with nobody director.
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