My friends, everybody has their down days, and during these long winter months it is especially easy to succumb to the doldrums and find yourself in a bit of a funk. But not to fear! I have a simple tip that’s guaranteed to pick you up and get you back in good spirits in no time, and here it is: Whenever you’re…
The Onion, if you’re reading this, you have to be prepared at a moment’s notice to publish a follow-up to this article, from the same author, which simply says, “I’m finally dead.”