TLDR: (USA) losing my job, iced out because of my illness, chronically ill/partially disabled, struggling to find new entry-level job in this market

My boss is not very kind to me. As I have gotten more ‘unkempt,’ she has made baiting comments to me, trying to get me to speak badly about coworkers, and talking badly about others. She also has made nasty comments about her clients, including making fun of an “autistic client” (I’m not autistic, but they treat me like I am “other,” and the only client she invites me into meetings with) and has made comments about my hair / headbands when I have a painful hair loss scalp condition (I have not told her this, and feel no safety to disclose). I have been systematically removed from the majority of client-facing meetings I used to be included in over the past 8 months.

My boss has no-showed our last three 1-on-1s without explanation. This week, she rescheduled 3 times, left me hanging for 20 min waiting on a meeting before I left and then told me “you should have messaged me” when she was the one who kept rescheduling.

I did vibe with the CEO initially, we had tons in common, and I think they hired me for those reasons and shared interests. My boss has worked with them across multiple companies for a decade now, and more than half the team has worked together in the past. I don’t fit in with the social politics of the company, and due to my illnesses, haven’t really had the opportunity to. While my coworkers glow about their pregnancies and routine blood testings, I can’t disclose what I’m going through, the POTS episodes, the ER visits, the iron infusions, the chronic pain, surgeries I’ve had, the medications I am struggling to tolerate, or hide the change in my appearance. I have seen another coworker with MS be fired last year as well unfortunately.

They do not know anything about my conditions, none of my job duties require physical labor, this is a role I work 40+ hours a week and have never complained nor detailed my medical issues. I have been coached by corporate professionals never to disclose if you do not need accommodations, and at the moment I do not in a remote role. So I’m not sure on what context my tasks are being taken away, unless they are making judgements on my appearance alone, because the intellect and work ethic of the person they hired has not changed.

There is no HR department as it is a small business, and I do not plan on taking any legal action as I have seen from others that doing so can affect your employability forever. I don’t think I can find a similar job with the level of endurance required to do so - it took me 3 years and 4,000 applications, and I ended up in very bad autoimmune flares because of the struggle. I am feeling hopeless for the future.

The writing seems to be on the wall as I have been relegated to non-strategy tasks, removed from context that would allow me to make process improvements, and my company has now posted a role on LinkedIn that matches 80% of my job description with higher pay.

I am feeling really scared (i need health insurance) and defeated, I want to work, I love this field, this job took me years to obtain and thousands of applications (partly why I developed one of my autoimmune conditions). I don’t think I will be approved for disability at this time, despite having multiple disabling conditions.