I accepted a job offer almost a year ago & from day 2, it’s been hell.

By my fist 30 days in: (1) I had someone lie that I threatened them bodily harm with an aggressive gesture — which has been disproven by security camera footage — with NO repercussions! (HR said it was “all about perception & that person *felt* like my hand was in their face despite being about 6 feet away with my hands raised directly in front of me). (2) I had staff complaints that I wasn’t visible enough, despite being in the office every single day & intentionally being shut out of team bonding opportunities. (3) Being somewhat bullied because I said I don’t agree with the “we’re a family” philosophy at work because families aren’t chosen & we all choose to be here so we should operate as a team.

This month, I was put on a PIP! No corrective actions, no write ups, no nothing. From 0 to PIP before I even made a year. My work is impeccable & I haven’t received any negative remarks on any reviews. (Which feels more like a retaliatory Personality Improvement Plan considering this came after 11 months of hell & me requesting support from HR & management.) everything on the PIP is based on opinion & perception from the team I inherited. Absolute bullshit.

That said, the last 11 months have been HELL. I’ve gained weight, my mental health has plummeted, & I don’t have the energy to have a life because I’m constantly in a spiral about this toxic, dreadful experience.

The light in my eyes is almost completely gone. I barely recognize who I am. I feel like a shell of the woman I actually am. I have taken all the feedback, coaching, & pivoting I can. I am exhausted & tiptoeing into hopelessness. People keep talking about mindset coaching, but I refuse to be gaslit into thinking that I’m not experiencing what I am.

Besides a new job, I don’t see a way to survive this. The job market sucks. Even with 12 years in my industry, I feel trapped while simultaneously being pushed out.

Please, somebody, tell me something to give me hope. Give me a lead. Give me a reason to not fall into the abyss of depression.

TLDR: this job is killing me… please help.