i (f30) recently went through a lengthy interview process for a trainer role at a fashion company. i initially hesitated because my entire background is in beauty (about a decade of it) but the hr lady encouraged me to give it a shot anyway, so i did.
the first interview went really well and i moved straight to a second round where i had to do a presentation and submit roll-out plans. they liked my approach and the fresh perspective i brought in. shortly after, i got a call saying they wanted to move forward and finalize my salary package.
from that point, the process got pretty intense. background checks, financial checks, three references who had to fill out lengthy forms, multiple payslips, and several written letters explaining my career gap and why i didn’t finish my degree. it felt intrusive, but i cooperated because i figured i was going to be part of the company.
hr was incredibly encouraging throughout. i was given an office tour, introduced to the team, given a rough salary figure, (also they had to significantly reduce my salary because of my 6 months career break), discussed perks with me, and was even handed my future manager’s contact number. it genuinely felt like a done deal. hr also kept checking whether i had other interviews going on and whether i’d commit to them. i did have another option, but i turned it down because of how far along things seemed.
i had already told my family i got the job.
then came a surprise. i was told i needed to meet the cpo. hr warned me he’d probe me with tough questions and might even redirect me to a different brand under the same company that better matched my beauty background. i said i’d stay firm on the original role.
the cpo had big robert california from the office energy lol, spoke entirely in analogies, which was frustrating. he flagged my beauty background and career gap as concerns, called hiring me a “risk,” and compared it to putting a soccer player in a rugby field. he suggested i’d actually be better off at a beauty brand under the same umbrella, with a higher salary and faster growth. it felt like an intimidation tactic, so i held my ground and made it clear i was still interested in the original role.
after that meeting, i got a call from hr saying they couldn’t fully approve me yet, and they want to interview one more candidate for comparison and will decide in about two weeks(?!) essentially, if the other candidates are worse, i get the job
I told hr i would like to be considered for the other beauty trainer role while waiting for them, but was ghosted. Lol.
at this point im honest just so angry with the way things were handled.
i went from feeling like a confirmed hire to being someone’s backup option. after everything i put in, it genuinely felt like my value had been reduced to a comparison metric.
This whole rollercoaster took about 2 months of my time.
some questions:
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was it ethical for hr to make me feel like a confirmed hire before all approvals were in place?
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is it standard practice to request this much personal information before a final decision is made?
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if they do offer me the role, do i still want it after being treated this way?