I am too tired and exhausted to even cry but I want to. I had been applying for jobs for almost 8 months with no replies or ghosting after interviews (if I even got one) and was sent into a depression over it. I finally got a break when I got an interview. During the interview I was offered a trial shift (food and beverage industry). I did my trial shift, and it went great, a day later I got a call from the owner asking how I got on, would I be happy to work there, did I need to give notice or could I start straight away, and would I be ok to come in for official training next week and we’d go from there. I was jumping for joy. I cried. My mam cried. I finally had a job and it was in a really nice place with great people. I did my first day of training, and a manger told me to wait to hear from the owner for details and further steps. I contacted the owner a day later to inform him of 3 days I was unavailable the next week that had been organised before my interview, incase he was scheduling shifts. No answer. 4 days go by, still no answer, my days away are looming closer so I contact the manager explaining what I did to the owner. Two days later he replies asking if I was added to the work group chat yet. I say no. I get no answer after that. It is Easter holidays and schools and college is closed and I assume they are very busy and the part time people in school are getting the shifts while they’re free so I decide to give it a few days. I go on my time away, wait a day or two after everyone is back from Easter break. I call the owner, no answer. I give it another day or two for him to see my call. I call again, he thankfully answers. I explain that it’s been two weeks since my first shift and I haven’t heard anything so I just wanted to see what the next steps are. He apologised for being busy and away, and says there are other people trialling at the moment, so he asks me to call him back on Monday for an answer.

I was already feeling red flags from all the ignoring messages, but hearing him talk about other people trialling as a reason why he couldn’t give me an update sent off immediate alarm bells.

I send a text today checking in and he gives me a call. He says unfortunately there won’t be any opportunities for me for atleast a few weeks. He says there was two other girls trialling at the same time as me that had experience in the industry, whereas I didn’t, so they have been chosen. He says they’re too busy at the moment and have too many staff to take me on, and asks if I have another job lined up. I tell him I am confused and disappointed because when he called me after my trial shift, he asked me did I want the job, and gave me the go ahead to start working there with my training. I declined interviews because I was under the impression that I already had a job. He apologised that I had nothing lined but but said again that the other two girls had more experience so it is easier to train them while it’s busy, and harder to train me without experience, so it doesn’t make sense to bring me on at this time. He said I must have misunderstood our previous conversations.

I asked how I was meant to “understand it” when I was asked if I was happy to work there, asked if I needed to give a notice, and told I could start in a weeks time for training?? I told him i understood that they were busy, which is why I gave them time, but I also reached out multiple times and was ignored. I reached out multiple times and no one once thought to inform me that I had misunderstood and didn’t have the job or cared to explain. I missed out on interviews because I thought the job was guaranteed. How was I meant to have done more? How was that fair when you knew all this time and could have told me sooner?

He said that “nothing in the food and service industry is guaranteed. Everything moves too quickly.” And proceeded to say that he was “fair with his communication” and he had explained and communicated well enough, but apologised if I misinterpreted our conversations. He then went on to bring up multiple points of why I hadn’t been brought on yet with “I mentioned this to you already.” Nothing had been mentioned. Our contact was slim to none. Outside of our initial phone call asking me to start there for training, the only contact was about scheduling my training shift time. No managers brought this up to me. No other members of staff brought this up to me. He then closed out by saying I was a lovely person and a great worker but at this time they couldn’t give me work because I don’t have the experience and it is unfair to bring me in for intensive training when they are so so busy because it would be too overwhelming for a new person. He then told me if I didn’t have a job in the next 2-3 weeks to reach out again and see if things had quietened down that they might have space for me but there is no guarantee.

I am gutted. I am devastated. I loved this job. I loved the people. I told everyone I had a job. My family were thrilled for me. Grandparents and aunts and uncles were reaching out congratulating me because they knew how hard of a time I’ve been having. I have so much experience working and I couldn’t even get a job selling donuts or cleaning toilets for 8 months. And then I got a godsend of an opportunity with this job, and now it’s all fucking gone.

I just feel so disrespected and part of me is wondering if I DID just hallucinate and misunderstand a job offer?? Everyone I explained the initial offer to agrees that it 100% can be interpreted in no other way except a job offer. In my interview he asked how the job hunt environment is at the moment and I explained that the worst part is that there is tons of jobs but NO ONE gets back to you. People ghost you. They don’t communicate. They leave you in limbo. That is the heartbreaking and confusing part of job hunting. He agreed how awful that was. But now they’ve gone and done the exact same thing to me that I explained was really tough.

I am just fucking heartbroken that I have to start the job hunt process all over again after 8 months of struggling and self doubt and depression over being ghosted time and time again and getting nowhere. I know i am qualified but no one is giving me a damn break because this market sucks and I don’t know how I’m meant to go back to that again. I wasted a whole month. I turned down job interviews for 10 hours worth of work that didn’t even go anywhere. I just feel sick to my stomach.