Hi, I’m feeling sad about this situation and I need some advice or reassurance.

I’ve been in college for the past 5 years. I’ve lived at home with my parents the whole time, since the college is close to where we live. Two years ago, I rescued a female kitten (Bibi, now 2 y.o.), whom we kept. Recently, we got her a friend (Toffi, 1 y.o.) from a shelter - also a female. The two cats get along well. I’m the one who takes care of them mostly, since I’m often home because of college. I play with them, feed them, and they sleep with me at night… and generally, it seems that they’re most used to me out of everyone in our household.

And now for the problem… This June, I’ll (hopefully) be finishing college. After that, my boyfriend and I plan to move in with him to his house, which is an hour’s drive from where I live now. And I don’t know what to do about the cats. They’re basically our family cats - they’re not just mine. They’re used to our current home and they have everything they need here. But I feel so bad about leaving them here. My mom doesn’t really understand cats… For example, Bibi is a very sweet and loyal cat, but she likes her peace and has her own boundaries. It’s best when I let her come to me on her own to be petted, and otherwise I try to give her space. But my mom doesn’t get this… she clumsily grabs and picks up Bibi or pets her at the wrong moment, and when Bibi hisses at her, mom starts calling her a brat and starts saying she’s stupid, evil etc.

But that’s not true at all - my mom just doesn’t know how to handle her… she doesn’t even know how to play with her. She just thinks that Bibi is ungrateful evil cat, but that’s not true at all. It breaks my heart when I hear her yelling at Bibi, and I’ve told her several times how she should treat her, but she keeps doing it anyways. Mom likes our other cat Toffi though, because she puts up with everything and never growls or hisses. My dad loves both cats equally and knows how to handle them, he plays with them nicely and knows they have their limits, but unlike my mom, he’s rarely home - just a few hours a day because he works a lot. So once I leave, my mom will basically be the main person taking care of them. I also have a younger sister, she is also attending a college right now and she’s home like 3 days a week. She is very nice to the cats, plays with them - the same as my dad.

I have no idea what to do. It seems illogical to me to move the cats to a completely unfamiliar environment where they don’t know the place, to stress them out unnecessarily, and then have to figure out pet-sitting arrangements when my boyfriend and I go on vacation (and we plan to travel a lot). But on the other hand, I’m devastated that I have to leave them here and that I’ll be abandoning them when they’re most used to me. I will try to find a job near my current home, so I can sometimes visit my cats (and parents) after work… but even if this worked out, I would miss them so much. I talked about it with my parents, and my dad would like to have the cats at home (he said I can’t take his “little darlings” away from him), and my mom only wants Toffi (the one who puts up with everything) and says I can take Bibi with me (this doesn’t make any sense since those two are already bonded).

What should I do? Is it okay if I leave them with my parents (and sister)? Will they be okay? Or should I take them with me even though we won’t be home as much as my parents? I’m lost and because of this problem I’m not even excited to move in with my bf even when I should look forward to it.

Thank you in advance!