Posting here because for some reason I can’t add photos to r/petloss. I’m losing my girl Mona on Thursday due to complications from FeLV and FIV. I never knew she had them since I never had her from birth and she was never previously tested for it. I got her vaccinations fairly routinely, but by the time I found out she had both she has been plagued by cancer, seizures, and more. A group of complications I can’t afford to treat.

I consider Mona to be the love of my life. She’s been through the hardest times of my life, but she won’t be here for the hardest yet, which is not having her at all. She is, affectionately, my little nicotine fiend. My problem princess who wouldn’t accept other cats and made my life a living hell for it (being evicted refusing to put her up for adoption due to her unfriendly behavior with other cats, spending months teaching her to be friendly with just one afterwards who was COMPLETELY in love with her despite her unhinged behavior. Every time she was put in isolation, he begged to free her. And when she finally accepted him, I’ve not seen her so close with another cat yet). She has been my staunch, violent protector and, again, the love of my life. I only wish I would have known and been able to take more proactive measures before she became terminal. So at the tender age of 11 she will be gone this week.

I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do without her. I was yelled out of my house at 18, we took her in soon after because my roommates family was abusing her. And I didn’t truly realize how much she loved me until I was moving states and my roommate sat me down to say, “She picked you. You have to take her.” And it’s been hard. And even when her care made it hard, her love made it so worthwhile. I’m honestly struggling to picture my life without her, or how I will ever love another pet as much as her. She is so gorgeous so lovely and sweet. Whenever we threw parties she would sit on our entrance table and demand every new person pet her. She’d chew on every cigarette I accidentally left out. I shared every iced drink I ever had with her. She was the first pet that was my whole responsibility, my whole life. I’m forever losing a piece of me with her. So I wanted to share her more broadly because she is gorgeous and she would’ve wanted the attention from people.