i gave her away

i dont know where she is

i was scared to ask questions , to explain. I thought if i will he will get scared and not take her. i thought i had to take the risk. he just needs to fall in love.

he said his family has pets so i thought he knows how to deal with them.

ones again I *ucked someone over because i was too shy to say something

and now god knows where she is

she tore his window net and was gone

he’s not very communicative. I talk to him and forget to ask questions. im so *tupid i swear i *ate myself so much.

and shes on the street, probably *njured.

before I knew what happened I was in my bed before sleep
and I felt this sudden sensation of deep calmness like i took a pill and it had immediate reaction.
after few days in bed too I felt her around me in my bed, as if it was real, with sounds touch and everything. i asked my mom if she got in my room when i was asleep, because i didnt open my eyes when it happened, because it felt so real.

so now i think that the moment of calmness was when she escaped\ *ied. and that she came to me as a ghost.

maybe its just my head creating a story to help me deal with it.

he lives an hour bus drive from me
if hes not lying
i looked for her yesterday
i’ll go again tomorow
*ucking *uck

https://preview.redd.it/wdsfvyk0xiwg1.jpg?width=1666&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=631f13d83a4699020bbce2883bd84220b6f4e2fa