Frodo, in typical cat fashion, likes to knock all of my anime and Disney figures down from my shelves. The personalized Lego me i got for Christmas last year? Cat toy. Tiny ceramic mushrooms that I thought would add Whimsy to my living room? Cat toys. Everything is cat toys. And he’s getting bigger, so fewer shelves are out of his reach. My hanging (plastic) plant is at risk.

Gandalf, in atypical cat fashion, insofar as my experience goes, keeps hiding all of my left shoes. I caught him taking the left elephant-shaped novelty slipper up the stairs yesterday. It’s bigger than he is, so he had his head lifted so high and had to do high-knees across the living room. (He’s only 6 months) He walks me up in the middle of the night by exfoliating my face for me. He pulls throw pillows off of the furniture and leaves them in odd corners.

They’re babies, so I give them grace, but also, I’m going a bit bonkers.