Today would have been Tommy’s birthday but he passed away 3 weeks ago and I’ve been feeling super sad and guilty.

Backstory: my dad passed away in January of this year, and I was so grateful to inherit his 2 cats. This meant that i had a total of 4 cats at one point! It was tough introducing my two senior cats (both 14 and the new younger ones (3 and 4). I did my best given the space I live in. It’s an open concept with no rooms but I bought a tent for the young ones. Slowly I’d introduce them without a barrier but these interactions were always under my supervision.

Then one day Tommy had what looked like a matted area which I attempted to brush but he wouldn’t let me (and he always does). Over the next day or two there was puss and it started to smell. On day 3 I brought him to the vet. They said they needed to sedate him so they can drain and properly clean it. I’m always nervous about sedation but this time I was extra wary, however I trusted the vet and still do. Unfortunately Tommy didn’t make it past the first round of sedation (they planned to do it in stages) and he passed away from cardiac arrest.

They don’t know what caused the wound - could be a scratch from another cat, an internal issue, or he injured himself by snagging on something in the house. I feel like I should have listened to my intuition and maybe should have held off and maybe it would have healed on its own. Looking back, I felt so tired with the new cats getting to know each other and still grieving the death of my dad.

Anyways I just needed to vent because I miss him a lot and he would have been 15 today. He was still so athletic and healthy and I just miss him so much.