I am venting. I was just rejected in a final round for the third time after also doing a take home assignment I spent a few days on because I am trying hard to get a job. I went beyond the requirements only to be nitpicked about my work… despite them claiming it should take “a few hours” so idk what their expectations were.

I have sent 200+ applications. 98% of these were tailored along with uncountable # of tailored cover letters, got referrals to companies, prepped for interviews and at some point stopped prepping for interviews to see if that did anything to make me less nervous. Sent applications as soon as possible to postings… sent applications to old posting to see if maybe they were somehow still active.

I continue to get interviews and screenings which I’m grateful for because I know many folks are getting nothing but I am tired and my confidence is shot and I am doubting how I even ever entered this field and got promoted or did my job for years because obviously I am no good. It’ll hit a year in the summer and sure I didn’t actively start searching until really December because of life circumstances… but I am tired.

I am not an entry level professional. I am mid career and have a Master’s degree in a relevant field. I am just asking for what I was making before or even less. I am not asking to work remote. I will literally work on-site every day as long as I don’t have to commute 2 hours everyday.

Fine, I guess you win. Sign me up for an entry level salary. Contract work. 60+ hour weeks. Long commutes. I guess I have to sacrifice and feel the pain because my career and getting degrees meant nothing. Companies want perfection… you can’t stutter on one question in any interview. You can’t blink wrong. You can’t mess up or YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT - “We enjoyed talking to you, but we have decided to go with a candidate that better aligns with this role.”

I just did Round 1 of 6 for another company. I can’t fucking wait to be rejected again and have another screening this week. I am not ex FAANG. I am not a rockstar. I am an average employee and can’t compete in this market. I just want to contribute to my household and not feel like such a loser. I am not looking for advice. I have tried everything. I am just tired.