So we rescued our very sweet boy Mushu about 5 years ago now. He used to come around our backyard - we fed and watered him, near daily for about 1.5 years.

He ended up getting picked up by our local cat rescue, my mom saw his poster and the rest is history!

We love him very much. Especially since we adopted him a few months after our 18 year old cat passed (and we think he started coming around for her), it really felt meant to be.

The thing is, no matter how hard we try, how patient we are, we CANNOT touch him. In the 5 whole years he’s been with us, we haven’t even able to pet him once.

The problem we’re facing now - he’s a long-haired cat and his fur has gotten so matted because we can’t brush him. He really needs to go to the vet but when I tell you, we truly can’t touch him, I mean it. We took him once years ago but it was an incredibly stressful experience for both him and us honestly. And it took HOURS to get him into a crate we literally had to trap him in a corner ugh it was truly horrible I can’t express this enough.

So this is the problem. We are TERRIFIED of traumatizing him and undoing all of his development (it ain’t much but it’s something!) but the mats are so bad, he must be in so much pain, and I don’t think we can put it off anymore.

Any advice on how we can get him to vet without giving any of us PTSD? Pls help. AND if anyone has any advice on how we can improve his life, maybe touch him or let him, I am all ears. We think he wants it… but he must’ve been hurt by humans in past (fuckers).

Also adding a bit more context on his story / progression in case it helps answer the above:

• The first 6 months we had him, he hid under the covers in my old bedroom (we literally made him a little cave and propped the duvet up - he did not leave the room basically ever)

• We got a long metal hand scratcher so we could try to get him used to “pets”. Clearly he liked it but after 2mins he’d panic and give us a gentle hiss. We always backed off of course, not wanting to stress him out.

• At 6 months he started exploring the house at night and 1 year in, we rescued a second cat for a family friend who couldn’t take care of him anymore. As soon as we brought Mouse around, Mushu stared coming out in the day time and started spending time around us (though hiding under the coffee table for example). At this point I actually got him to lick a treat off my finger and that’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to him.

• Mushu LOVED Mouse, but Mouse being a Russian blue, definitely more of a people person. He tolerated Mushu but did not like to play really or cuddle. Caught him letting Mushu groom him once which was sweet.

• Sadly Mouse passed away 2 years ago (cancer). We knew Mushu was lonely and so we got him another cat, Molly. We literally rescued her FOR Mushu but she is a Siberian and VERY people-oriented and is glued to my mother. Unfortunately she gives Mushu less time of day than Mouse did but we love her :( he chirps at her and follows her around EVERYWHERE. They’re always laying in the same areas but she’ll swat at him if he gets too close and we think he’s scared of her lol.

Anyways - to summarize his progress in the past 5 years: he is out and about at all times during the day and I think he likes to be around us. He is definitely curious but EXTREMELY timid. He does follow Molly around and my mom (but keeps his distance). We can play with him if we’re using a stick with a string and don’t get too close. He’ll even roll on his back so we think he is comfortable (ish) with us. I can also get him to smell my hand but only for a few seconds before he kinda panics and backs off again.

Sorry for the long post. I just want to give all the context because I really would love some advice on how to a) socialize him and b) get him to the vet with traumatizing him.

Tl;dr - we rescued a cat who after 5 years has warmed up to us but is very timid and cannot be touched. He has heavily matted fur (bc we can’t brush him) and really need to get him to the vet but we are really scared of traumatizing him (and ourselves)