Protip: if you ask how they’re doing you have to talk less.
Yes, but i have to use more brain power to pay attention
I’ve gotten better about this but yeah I used to do it constantly.
That depends on the culture. I have a british coworker who says “hi, how are you” as a greeting, not as a question.
Also the British custom of asking if you’re alright which must adhere to the following script:
“Hiya, you alright?”
“Oh yeah not so bad. You?”
“Yeah not bad.”
You can deviate slightly (“can’t complain”) but under no circumstances must you discuss whether you’re actually alright or not. I’ve genuinely seen this exchange happen at a funeral, with the widower being like “Yeah not so bad…”
when i went to Britain the first time (as an american), everyone kept asking me if i was alright and i thought there was something wrong with me like i was bleeding or smth
Well you have to consider perspective. He’s doing way better than his wife…
Hey, LadyButterfly, I have this problem all the time.
I’m doing great, thanks, kbye.
Yes. I always attributed this to my social anxiety (which led me to being very isolated growing up, minimal social interactions, etc.) but I can also see how it could’ve been both. At this point, I’ve never truly felt confident enough to hold any form of small talk with people due to lack of social cues like the image mentions and some other stuff.
I find it’s best to just avoid people wherever possible
Jokes on you - my autistic stepson will continually repeat “how are you? - [and then] …not bad, how are you?”
TIL I am autism
I rarely use people’s names.
I use them all the time on purpose. People like to hear their own names. It quickly recognizes them as an associate of yours and makes them feel special.
That’s why I don’t like it. I feel being manipulated if someone says my name all the time.
Well, around other NDs I skip the pleasantries and get down to business.
I actively avoid it XD
Names are overrated. I prefer being called good boy.
Kinda why I thought I might be a sociopath. I don’t ask things like that because I genuinely do not care.
In my experience most neurotypicals don’t as well and it’s just some kind of ritual. Most of the time I just try to copy what the other person is doing to not be awkward and get on with it.
I care, but i’m only going to ask someone how they are if they’re visivly upset, or visibky happy/excited, or otherwise they will share with me first.
I’m the same. Don’t really care for small talk
You might not but it’s extremely important. The idea behind small talk is to check if everyone is on the same page. When you’re doing small talk you’re communicating that you’re an ok person and that you’re ok with the other person. By skipping or avoiding small talk you’re basically fucking with the vibe in the room. Imagine everyone is humming the same song and getting along and you bust down the door and start death growling about the meaning of life and your pokemon card collection while guitars shriek in the background, that’s what skipping small talk is.
I do it when necessary, I can read a room, just don’t care for talking about the weather in an elevator.
Then yell, it’s a free country, wherever you are in the world, so you can do that.
The solid three minutes after someone asks me how I’m doing before I remember to ask it back, just about every time 😬
That’s me. I do genuinely care, and want to have a conversation, but somewhere i missed that bit of programming and have to go back after the fact.
Exact same for me.
I don’t have a problem with it, but the normies sure do seem like they do.
not autistic, but yeah thats me
I’m starting to think these quirky relatable characteristics don’t in fact constitute autism 🤔
LOLL … well said.
People aren’t waiting for the answer so I doubt they even notice that you didn’t ask
The answer is not the point. The question is what people expect. It is a gesture of friendly respect.
Unless you’re in Europe
“Salut, ça va?”
Fair enough
When I ask someone I do generally listen to the reply because I care about the person and want to know how they feel. Most people I ask do ask me back so I try to have an answer ready and it is noticeable when it doesn’t happen, but I don’t mind.
I’m not so sure anymore, I’ve had co-workers grumble to me so-and-so doesn’t greet people back at work.
