I’ve shared this joke before but I think it is actually specifically suited to this thread:

– A man goes up to a newspaper stand, buys a copy of the New York Times, takes one look at the front page, and throws it away with a disappointed look on his face.

Every day, he comes back to the newspaper stand, buys a copy of the Times, looks over the front page, gets disappointed, and then throws the paper away without opening it.

This goes on for a few weeks, and finally the man running the stand asks him, “Why do you keep buying a paper and not reading it?”

He replies, “I’m just looking for an obituary.”

“But there aren’t any obituaries on the front page.”

“This one will be.”

Fuck that! He’s taken more than enough of my life away already - I’m not wasting another second reading some flowery bullshit prose from the ever-faithful rim-jobbers who’d be the ones writing it.

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum