• jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    Dear President Trump,

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

  • Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    So does he get all these merged up ideas over the weekend blurt them out midday Mondays and his handlers are like “jfc not again” then have to reel him in Tuesday mornings?

  • notsosure@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    I‘m more & more challenged to read any of his shit to the end, it’s such a waste of time. Actually, he is such a waste of time. And space.

  • ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com
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    7 days ago

    America for the last 50 years: bombs the middle-east to lower oil prices

    Americans: “WE WANT CHANGE!”

    America: bombs the middle-east to increase oil prices

  • WatDabney@sopuli.xyz
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    7 days ago

    There was a poster on Reddit years ago who would write these long screeds about how Naruto was the greatest anime ever and all the people who hated it were just awful mean liars because it was the greatest anime ever so everything they said about it was a lie because they were awful and mean and so on.

    I’m reminded of them every time I read one of Trump’s posts.

    • Carrot@lemmy.today
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      6 days ago

      I recently (last few years) watched Naruto for the first time. It’s a great anime, but only if you skip ~40% of the show due to it being poorly written filler, and watch the episodes at 1.5x speed, because everyone speaks and moves at a snail’s pace. I bet the manga is a much, much better experience than the anime.

    • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Probably because he villainizes anyone who disagrees with him, and in the tone of an insolent toddler. Never addresses the substance of anything, just literally calls everyone a bad person if they don’t bend the knee. Trump showed us how thoroughly fucked in the head this country is. How the fuck is every citizen not calling for impeachment since week one of term one?

  • Optional@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    “After productive talks with the Qataris and the Saudis, I will be replacing my totally made-up and unenforceable 20% fee with MASSIVE bribes to me personally”

  • DagwoodIII@piefed.social
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    7 days ago

    It’s gone from not funny, to funny, to absurd, to unintelligible, to ridiculous, and now it’s back to not funny.

    • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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      7 days ago

      Knowing what we know about software companies, this could be a very bad simulation with no tech support.

      • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Yeah, although it seems more like satire than a scenario that just happened to go wrong. How does nearly every decision point result in the wrong decision being made? Flipping a coin would probably net us a better reality than we got.

      • Triumph@fedia.io
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        7 days ago

        This simulation is the end result of disconnected-from-reality capitalists and their overblown “Ai” hype.

  • RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    So instead of an unenforceable 20%, now you can pay Trump directly in the form of “an American investment.”

    • Dpek@lemmy.zip
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      7 days ago

      Fumes from unknown chemicals burning can be dangerus

      Dont forget to wear a gasmask with a filter caoable of dealing with the expected hazards (all)