My husband and I took up power lifting at the start of the year and have been keeping up with it. He tried it in the past, but found it hard to keep up with. It got too monotonous and he had trouble finding the will to keep pushing the same boulder up the same hill. We both needed to start doing a proper exercise routine, so we decided to both start a power lifting workout routine together. And let me tell you, two people makes it sooo much better.

The way the workout is structured is a series of lifts separated by rest breaks. Currently we’ll do a set of five and then wait for at least 3 minutes before staring the next. By yourself, these breaks are slow and annoying, as you have to watch the clock. Three minutes is a lot longer than you think when you have nothing to do but look at your phone.

But with another person, you just tag team! We both have different weight levels for each exercise. So that means we have to swap the weights out between each set. Could be monotonous, but it actually isn’t. It gives you something to do in the rest periods. Plus moving the weights is just more workout! And it saves you from having to watch the clock, as the time to swap weights out and for the other person to do a set is usually 3-5 minutes.

And it’s also just a fantastic bonding opportunity between us. It’s an activity we can regularly do together. We outfitted a home gym in a back shed, and we work out together three days a week. From a couple’s perspective, it’s like a regular date night you don’t have to pay any money for. For 1-2 hours, it’s just us together doing nothing but sharing in the same activity and enjoying each other’s company. It’s wonderful. It’s a great opportunity to open up and talk about whatever is on our mind of troubling us. When moving the bar to a higher or lower position, each of us grab one end of the bar and move together in unison. We spot each other for certain exercises.

And frankly, getting to spend so much time so close to each other as you’re both really using your bodies, while wearing shorts and tank tops/t-shirts? Seeing each other’s muscles move and the living vitality of your partner? Let’s just say…your heart isn’t beating faster just from lifting weights… I have never and would never hit on a stranger in a public gym. But he is far from a stranger, and we’re not in a public gym. :D Never done anything actually in the gym, but we’ve definitely engaged in some after-workout activities on occasion. :3

I can highly recommend it. This is the first time in my life I’ve ever tried regularly working out with a partner, and it’s changed everything. My AuDHD butt has trouble keeping up with regular workouts. But working out with my husband has changed workouts from a dull painful slog I have to endure to something I’m genuinely interested in and love.

And eight months or so in? I’ve definitely seen results. I’ve had a noticeable increase in strength and stamina. It’s greatly increased my energy levels and made all sorts of minor aches and pains disappear. Plus having more strength is just a very useful thing. It’s enabled me to take on projects I would otherwise have had to hire out.

While even cis girls worry about this, I as a trans gal was especially worried that gaining muscles would make me look more masculine. It’s one of the reasons I never tried weightlifting before. But my husband assured me that this was a common fear among even cis women, and that it wasn’t really a concern. He even pointed me to a cis gal fitness influencer whose talked at length about this. And he was right. I’ve put on a lot of muscle, but as I’ve been on HRT for years, it doesn’t make me look more masculine. I look like a strong woman, not a man. My muscles are larger, but they’re not huge and could never really get huge. Unless you’re taking big doses of testosterone, you just can’t grow big manly muscles. The squats have made my hips and butt look amazing, and arms and shoulders really don’t look huge. They look very tone more than anything. They’re larger, but not masculine at all.

It’s weird. Like, I know the science. I know that when studied, trans women have no advantage over cis women in sports performance after a few years on HRT. I fully support trans women and girls having full access to any woman’s sporting event. I firmly believe that trans women should compete with cis women, not just because we’re women, but because we literally have no advantage over cis gals.

I believe this, but I actually could apply that to me personally. I simultaneously thought trans women had no advantage in sports at the same time I was terrified that weightlifting would turn me into a gorilla. Just some really interesting cognitive dissonance.

Whether you’re gay, straight, or anything else. I can highly recommend working out with a partner. And I can specifically recommend power lifting. It’s really been transformative. And doing it together has been wonderful in bringing us together.