Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

(I want to post this for the joke, but full-body latex feels a little hotter atm)

True

Assume you mean on men? Hard to find women not wearing them these days (I’m including yoga pants as tights-perhaps that’s not what you mean though?)

Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman 2: I’ve got a message from you.

So what’s a unitard