My dad has been in a passive war with his neighbor Brad for years. They don’t speak. They just escalate. Today I got this text, and I just know my dad is cooking something up.

Purely hypothetical question: If a person were to have gained access to another individual’s Bluetooth speaker, and if that same person hypothetically had a playlist made up of randomized smoke alarm low-battery chirps… when would you say is the most appropriate time for such a playlist to be played?