Mainly here, but now that i think about it IRL sucks too. Its far too fucking easy for me to get mad, especially if someone found a trauma trigger. Being a communist sucks as an autistic person in general, im doomed to be shit at it. Won’t stop me from trying, though.
Yo a kindred spirit! Hi! I’ve been struggling with angry outbursts my whole life and I’m always terrified that I might lose control. It’s a recent development that I’m learning that my anger at (capitalist) society is quite warranted. Inshallah we’ll bring about a society that is rationally optimized for the well being of all!
And yeah, I also frequently get criticized for being two-faced or something similar because I am not so great at reading social cues and figuring out what people need. Not for lack of trying. Be so much easier if people just told me what they wanted from me lmao - I’m a nice person and I try to help when I know it’s necessary
Rage sucks, it feels like im fighting with myself half the goddamn argument. I also make the mistake of thinking people are arguing in good faith. Although that may be my foolish sense of trust.
People also gas-light you as an Autistic person, don’t forget.
this, i still trust my ‘comrades’ too much
Be careful with treating every comrade as your friend.
Godamn same here. Learning that I am autistic as an adult though has made me look back at those childhood outbursts and realize that I was mad at fundamentally flawed systems that didn’t work for me. Growing up as a guy, I wasn’t taught to manage my emotions, I was taught that being vulnerable specifically would be met with disapproval. But it really does get more interesting because I know for certain my parents would be horrified if they knew I ever felt that way, the thing is that I wasn’t taught exclusively by my parents. I went to school like everyone else and behaved like everyone else (I don’t think I gained a sense of outspokenness until later in life).
But jfc looking back on it, kids absolutely bodied those that were different. I think that’s why I learned to mask so well (ironically though I’m really bad at it as a grown ass guy). I think this is why I’m hypersensitive about bigotry and think it should be seen as extremely harmful. Christ, yeah I was mad because I could never be my real self without getting ridiculed by someone else