The way that most of us approach goal-seeking and life in general is not only counterproductive but actually drains us of motivation, purpose, and enjoyment in life. This is due to the Paradox of Goal-Seeking, which has a lot to do with how we manage and leverage our dopamine system.

It is common to see our struggles to reach goals as simply annoying actions we must bear to get what we want. The only thing that matters is the pleasure of achieving our goal, the pleasure of winning. This is very problematic and often sets us up for failure. How so? First of all, this deprives us of cherishing all the pleasure that we could obtain on our way to the goal. And it can far exceed the total enjoyment that one can get from reaching the goal, as it is spread widely in time. But there is an even more sinister aspect to all of this. We know that dopamine is about reward prediction error. What this means, is that we always compare our past expectations to the actual results, to what we got. And our feelings are always tied to that comparison. That’s why failing feels so horrible. But not only that, even good outcomes can suck. When you expect your reward to be great, and it’s good but not great, your dopamine baseline actually lowers. Even though your outcome is good, it doesn’t feel good. It feels almost like a loss. That sucks, but unfortunately it gets even worse. Dopamine governs our motivation, so lower levels of dopamine mean that we are less motivated to do the same activity again. That is why we’re setting ourselves up for failure. Sounds horrible? Well, it is. That is the Paradox of Goal- Seeking and it is powerful. That’s why you have to understand it well.

In goal seeking, it’s not about the goal, but pursuit or seeking the goal. You don’t have to suspend your happiness until you achieve X. That X will always be in the future, it will never be achieved, as your goalposts will always move and be outside of your reach. No, instead, you’re focusing on the process, not on the outcome. Your aim is to be constantly seeking because the seeking is the reward. Dopamine is released when we’re headed towards a milestone, we can sense a win. So when you are pursuing a goal, and consistently getting out of bed in the morning, showing up for your session, you can already start experiencing the win and reaping your rewards. That means that if you are seeking a challenging goal that takes weeks, months, or even years to accomplish, you will receive many times more pleasure during your pursuit than when reaching the goal. So if you think about it, the joy of seeking, striving, and pursuing is more important than the goal. Moreover, by detaching yourself from the outcomes and focusing on the process and pursuit, you’re protecting yourself from the negative effects of expectations. That’s a paradigm change, the single most successful dopamine loop that will transform your life. The state of wanting can be in itself a pleasurable act. The craving and challenge can make you feel alive. So set ambitious goals that are slightly outside of your comfort zone, but still achievable. Make sure they’re long-term and can be broken into smaller pieces that you can track daily, weekly, or monthly. And enjoy and love the process of getting there, of tiny wins, of improving daily. Set up a life of self-improvement, filled with seeking, pursuit, struggle, discomfort, learning, and effort. It will be a powerful formula for a satisfying, energized, accomplished, and fulfilled life.

This was a summary of how the Paradox of Goal Seeking works. If you want to learn more, click here.

Moreover, I highly recommend learning about its twin effects the Paradox of Pleasure and the Paradox of Pain.

References:

Schultz W. Dopamine reward prediction error coding. Dialogues Clinical Neuroscience. 2016 Mar;18(1):23-32. doi: 10.31887/DCNS.2016.18.1/wschultz. PMID: 27069377; PMCID: PMC4826767.

Liu C, Goel P, Kaeser PS. Spatial and temporal scales of dopamine transmission. Nat Rev Neurosci. 2021 Jun;22(6):345-358. doi: 10.1038/s41583-021-00455-7. Epub 2021 Apr 9. PMID: 33837376; PMCID: PMC8220193.

Wise RA, Robble MA. Dopamine and Addiction. Annu Rev Psychol. 2020 Jan 4;71:79-106. doi: 10.1146/annurev-psych-010418-103337. PMID: 31905114.

Lembke, A. Dopamine nation: finding balance in the age of indulgence. 2021. [New York, New York], Dutton, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC.

Lieberman, DZ, Long, ME. The Molecule of More : How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love Sex and Creativity-And Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race. 2018. Dallas TX: BenBella Books.