I once rented a 2BR apartment and a couple of months in my landlord removed one of the bedrooms. It was like pulling teeth but I finally got him to lower my rent by $50.

My recliner makes a creaking noise whenever I fully recline it. The other day I was napping in it, fully reclined already, when I heard the creaking noise. Way to fucking ruin a great nap.

I literally saved my company twice. We were a small company providing contract programmers to a huge cable company (rhymes with Bombast), producing their mobile apps for them for iPhone, Android and Blackberry. When I started, we had just lost the Android gig because of the sheer ineptness of our offshore team (ironically enough, the gig was given to InfoSys who managed to do an even worse job). We were about to be shitcanned completely because we unable to produce a working TV guide-type application for Blackberry, thanks to the fact that no built-in control for Blackberry was able to handle a moving grid like a TV guide app requires. I produced probably the best mobile app I’ve ever written because I had experience with using Graphics classes for Java and was able to write an entirely owner-drawn control for this.

Unfortunately this was in 2011 as Blackberry was going through its death throes, so this really achieved nothing other than making Bombast want to keep paying us to stay around. A year later we faced getting shitcanned again because we were way behind schedule on the iOS app, thanks to an estimate that I had nothing to do with (our company very intelligently never involved actual programmers in these schedule estimates). I spent an entire week literally living in the Bombast building, coding all day and most of the night, sleeping a couple of hours a night in my George Costanza setup underneath my cubicle desk. We barely made the release schedule and Bombast kept us on again. The vulture capitalist who originally funded us had been ready to stop operations and fire everybody for some time, but this was put on hold.

Shortly after this, we were acquired by a west coast tech giant and us programmers were all laid off. The C-suite got millions in stock options, and I got … a very nice letter of reference when I applied for my school bus driver job. I’m thankful at least that I never had to deal with AI.

“You there … make that great screaming noise again when I impale this thing. Hey! Are you even listening?”

There is no I in raper.

I just read her book. Holy shit are the Facebook execs vile people. Just to pull one turd from the pile, her boss there was Joel Kaplan, the dude who worked for George W. Bush and was part of the “Brooks Brothers Riot” in Florida in 2000. Wynn-Williams had had a baby that caused an embolism; she had something like 25 blood transfusions and was continuing to bleed for months afterwards. Kaplan would conduct one-on-one online meetings with her in his underwear and pressure her to describe the blood coming out of her vagina.

And that’s just one example of the personal vileness of these people. They also manage possibly the most evil company in world history.

Doesn’t even have to sell any of it. Just borrows against it as collateral and pays the loans off with new loans borrowed against the ever-increasing value.

It’s like how the C-suite denizens all make vast millions because they sit on each others’ boards and vote for each others’ absurd compensation packages. Not because they have any particular abilities to speak of. It’s a circlejerk in the finest sense of the term.

🪞 Skinnyfat physique

And even that took an actual fucking war hero who could have just as easily been a Democrat.

The Great Depression featured deflation, for whatever the hell that’s worth.

We also have an awesome football team and the house from Christmas Story.

“We need term limits” lol. Term limits mean politicians need to line their pockets even faster. Fucking Rome was famous for this shit.

It’s not the stretching that relieves the cramp. When you contract the opposing muscle (or muscle group), your body sends a signal to relax the other muscle. So if your hamstring is cramping, contracting your quadriceps causes the hamstring to relax.

I had lunch at Booger King last year for the first time in a long time. The whopper and fries were actually surprisingly good, freshly cooked and tasty. But god damn did I feel like shit after eating it. I suppose it was all the salt. And it was $16, and that was without a drink even.

Don’t forget to hydrate.

Typewriters were pretty cheap but not very many people owned one. Colleges had typewriter labs sometimes, but it was more common to hand-write your papers and then have a professional typist type them up. I went to college in the '80s and we had labs with a bunch of word processors we could use, but I had borrowed my dad’s portable electric typewriter and I mostly used that. During my junior year the G type slug broke off of its typebar, so for the rest of my college career I had to hand-write the Gs on all my papers.

I used to write small games in BASIC on paper and then go over to my friend’s house and type them into his VIC-20 to play them (these things had an optional tape drive for saving programs but his parents were too cheap to pay for that). It really taught me to code carefully and get everything right the first time around. In the early '90s I visited India and saw software companies that had ten programmers and one PC and they were also coding with pencil and paper. I assumed that this meant Indian programmers were going to be fantastic once they each got their own computers, but I was wrong about this – they’re just as shitty as everybody else.

My joke comment was based on love! I actually started my professional career with VB (3 no less) and it was an excellent language for what it was good for, mainly building good UIs. Sure, it could be – and was – used to create unearthly horrors, but that’s true of every language and platform.

Fuck you Jobu … I do it myself!