You’re right, being at an 8.5 in anxiety when you think a 4 would be appropriate does not seem great to me. However, knowing this may make for a better target than no anxiety, particularly given the circumstances.

If you are open to it, you might consider the Feeling Good App. Although I have not personally used it, a close and trusted friend was involved with the development of the app. Also, the methods used have been very helpful to me and have also allowed me to help others.

If you try it and like it, perhaps you can let me know. I know that my friend would enjoy knowing that he was part of something that helped someone.

I’d like to say that your choice is praiseworthy. Despite your difficult circumstances, you would rather experience this very painful condition than disregard the people in your life that matter to you.

What if you could have the best of both worlds? What if you could experience the anxiety that has helped you be aware of dangers in an uncertain environment, but not experience such a high level of anxiety that it interferes with your work and sleep?

If so, try figuring out where that more desireable level of anxiety is. This would be two questions: first, on a scale of 1 - 10, where would you rate your current anxiety? (I think we know the answer to that one) second, what do you think would be the appropriate amount of anxiety for someone in your situation?

If you can answer those, perhaps there can be a way to reduce your anxiety without losing the good things about yourself that the anxiety denotes.

You are not alone.

It seems to me that you are having a very reasonable reaction to a difficult situation. If I was in your position, I would also feel extreme anxiety. I know nothing about you, but, from what you have shared, I would like to commend you for your anxiety. It is evidently clear from what you write that you take your responsibilities to your employer and your family very seriously. A nonchalant attitude in the face of a life-changing event like the one you are facing would belie a lack of concern for the people closest to you, who depend on you and whom you care for.

These appear to be serious matters and you are taking them seriously, even to the extent that it causes you some extreme discomfort. This is a commendable commitment to duty and to the welfare of others.

Suppose there were a magic button that could make the anxiety disappear, however it would also cause the motivation for that anxiety - say, love, duty, commitment to excellence - it would make these also disappear. You would no longer be bothered by your precarious position, but you would also become someone unconcerned with their own wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around them.

If you had such a button, would you push it?

I’d also like to point out that the underlying model may well be unsustainable in the way that it is offered at the start. Who benefits when a for-profit company operates at a loss? We, the customers, do. We get low prices and customer-friendly practices that are genuinely enjoyable. That business can’t operate in that way indefinitely, as the early investors are not funding it as an act of charity.

Eventually, the bill comes due. The shareholders have funded the company on the premise that, after losing lots of money on customer acquisition, it can restructure and monetize those customers and recoup their investment, hopefully with a lucrative return when they decide to capitalize their holdings and find a new company with which to repeat the process.

There is absolutely no reason not to enjoy the perks of the early stage of the customer acquisition process; the shareholders are subsidizing your product at no cost to you. But we shouldn’t be surprised when the shareholders stop subsidizing and start squeezing their formerly pampered customers in the hopes of getting their money back (and more, of course).

This doesn’t excuse unethical or abusive practices, but it does mean that, even without them, the experience of those early days probably wasn’t going to last forever.

Is this it?

First, find a rock.

As a preliminary test, you might look at a “sleep apnea adjustable mouthpiece” for sale online. I don’t know how well these work, but my custom sleep apnea dental device has been amazing for me. It may be that the boil-and-bite varieties also work well. If so, you might get relief without having to interact with the healthcare system.

You might find more information here.

As for the sleep test, many factors are important, but you could learn a lot from monitoring your pulse oxygen while you sleep. A casual search turned up several very affordable fingertip pulse oximeters that connect via Bluetooth. This would let you create a record of your pulse oxygen levels while you sleep. If you are dropping below 92% while you sleep (link), then you might be sleeping poorly because of sleep apnea.

In fact, you could record your SPO2 levels with and without the sleep apnea device to rule its use in or out without spending a ton of money on doctors visits and the like.

I hope things get better for you.

For anyone who feels this way after waking up from what should have been “enough” sleep, consider getting a home sleep test. Going from moderate sleep apnea to none was life-changing. If this is how you feel regularly, it doesn’t necessarily have to be this way.

Hey, what are the exact dimensions of the part with the thermal paste? I’d be curious know just how much area is being covered.

Because crystallography and solid state chemistry is the foundation of every modern convenience?

But it’s also beautiful. If they’ve never heard of Bravais-Friedel-Donnay-Harker, then you can’t really blame them for not knowing.

Is that the symbol for bleem?

HCP FTW.

Same here. I’ve come to the conclusion that, if I was unwilling to accept anyone that wasn’t of the calibre of Carl Sagan to fill his shoes, I was probably going to wait a long time. I think Degrasse Tyson’s advocacy for black scientists is admirable, as is his willingness to promote religious reconciliation. These weren’t areas of focus for Sagan, but that’s ok. They can be different people, even imperfect people, and maybe that’s good.

Yeah, if that’s what Johnny Cash was talking about, then what was Trent Reznor talking about?

It can be challenging to pick it out, but, if you read the article, the problem is “Transmission Capacity”. This does not mean that energy supply is the problem, rather, that the power grid has a finite, limiting ability to transmit the power generated in one place to another place, far away.

It would be nice if this were not the case, as the construction of remote gigawatt-scale power plants would, as you suggest, solve this problem. However, adding more supply won’t change the transmission capacity of the grid serving the utility, especially if the power generation is tens or hundreds of miles away from the demand centers.

One way to relieve the inevitable shortages is to upgrade the power lines and grid infrastructure. The core problems with this are that 1) it’s expensive and 2) there’s no good way to recoup the costs, as there would be with a plant. Accordingly, few people are eager to dump billions dollars into new grid infrastructure.

An alternative way is to provide power is to accelerate residential solar arrays. Residential PV generates large amounts of excess power that can be metered back into the grid immediately adjacent to neighbors who may not have solar power, but might need power for things like air conditioning during hot days. Crucially, the power for these consumers is being generated immediately adjacent to them, without encumbering the “transmission capacity” of the grid that the distant thermal plant needs to get their energy to the consumer.

Also, residential PV is purchased, installed, and insured by a private home owner at their own expense. Liability for loss or damage to the residential PV array is held by the homeowner, not the utility. As a result, the residential PV array is allowing the utility to sell more power to their customers without requiring that same utility to pay for an upgraded grid.

Residential PV should be viewed as a godsend for the thermal plants generating power that their grids can’t transmit.

I’d encourage you to think about these events as you would a physical injury. A physical injury can hurt for a long time and no amount of recognition or “processing” or “getting over it” can short-cut the all-too-slow healing that needs to take place. It’s no fun and there’s no way to just make it go away.

That said, you can do things that care for the injury while it is healing. I don’t know what these are for you, but for me, I needed to recognize that the people I was angry at were also instrumental in helping me advance.

For example, I had a string of terrible jobs with bad bosses, but that string of terrible jobs led me to someplace that I am very happy to work. Once I realized this, it started getting easier to recognize both that the way I was treated was wrong and that I was also glad that these people were essential to me get to where I am. Even so, it was a long process and physically painful. My anger towards these people did nothing to hurt them, but it was terrible on my health.

I’m sorry you had to experience these things, but I hope they eventually lead you to someplace better.

How did you design the pendant? I’ve been trying to cad out a signet ring, but my current effort-to-quality ratio is terrible.

The first lines from Neuromancer by William Gibson. What a pleasant surprise.