Smash them up and dump the crumbs into a glass. Now it’s a drink and no longer subject to the tyrannical nutritional guidelines of the medical establishment, leaving you free to consume it as you please.

I have an idea for what we could feed those dogs.

Maybe there are (at least) 9 of these code-named agents who are assigned an identity for the duration of their employment.

Kinda want her to get the role now just so these assholes don’t see Depp or somebody else in the new movie and think that they had a hand in saving Hollywood from the evil forces of woke. Satisfaction is not permitted.

OP was asking for things that would be different.

Brilliant PR firm move to start making the jokes ahead of time so if the video did get out, people assume it’s a fake. This idea is made less likely by all the other things they haven’t hidden.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Also, if you take enough shots, sovcit thinking starts making sense.

Looks like something Tony Stark would build. In a cave! With a box of scraps!

Transient ischemic attack (sometimes referred to as a “mini-stroke” since they produce stroke-like signs and symptoms that go away afterward).

Photographers wanted to save their film for the fireball.

Don’t allow there mistakes too ruin you’re day.

I’d believe that it’s a 13-year-old spewing dumb 13-year-old ideas of how humor works. Their thoughts don’t count yet.

Reality is picking up scraps off a third-rate political sitcom’s cutting-room floor again, I see.

That’s why you don’t store your stool samples in the same fridge as your chocolate pudding. Malware goes into the vault.

He’s hip.

It’s for those times when a full glove would be too formal. Casual Fridays at the doctor’s office, that sort of thing.

Because the only defense against it is having an awkwardly long name.

Nice, don’t see too many of these high-security Japanese penis keys in the wild.

The “aaaaaaa” at the end was OOP screaming in horror during a rare moment of lucidity before the madness reasserted itself.