skribe 🇺🇦 :verified_mustard:

Aussie in Singas.

Writer. Code dabbler. Former TV/film/commercial video producer/director/actor.

Married to @CeeZedby
Two bratty sons.

One of my novels (read it for free): https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/56204/coils-of-the-serpent

Fingerprint: 79A1 DC6C D367 8A31 135A 7AFA 940E 4231 D7B9 B15C

Other instances (semi-active):
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  • 0 Posts
  • 15 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: November 1st, 2022

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  • @timrichards @ajsadauskas @eatham @unionagainstdhmo

    Yeah, I can just imagine that meeting:

    PM: Thanks for coming at short notice-

    Q: Where are the other states?

    NT: And territories!

    PM: What do you mean?

    Q: It’s just Queensland and Northern Territory.

    NT: The largest territory!

    PM: Yeah. I was getting to that. As you know, we’re changing the date for Australia Day.

    Q: We are?

    PM: Yeah. 26th January is no longer popular. Some people are even calling it Invasion Day.

    Q: Why?

    PM: Um, something about Captain Cook. I don’t really know, but we’re changing the date. However, there’s a problem. You know how you both have public holidays in early May? We need you to change them.

    Q: Why?

    PM: Because we’ve decided to make Australia Day coincide with when Parliament first met.

    Q: And?

    PM: You probably don’t want two consecutive long weekends.

    Q: It works for Chrissie and New Year.

    PM: Yeah, but everyone is on holiday then anyway.

    NT: When did Parliament first meet?

    PM: 9th May.

    NT: What year?

    PM: 1901.

    NT: But it’s 2024.

    Q: So where do you want us to move them to?

    PM: Early march seems popular.

    NT: You want us to have May Day in March?

    Q: Ok.

    PM: Ok?

    Q: We’ll do it. But we’re going to need some sweeteners.

    PM: Sweeteners?

    Q: We’re moving Labour Day. We’re a Labor government. You’re a Labor government. We’ve got to appeal to working people.

    PM: What did you have in mind?

    Q: AFL Grand Final.

    PM: I’m sure we can arrange some-

    Q: Every year.

    PM: Queenslanders don’t even like AFL much.

    Q: I feel that could get a real taste for it.

    PM: The Gabba only holds, what, forty thousand people?

    Q: Forty-two thousand, Prime Minister. But, I’m sure with some federal funding we could expand it to at least…a hundred thousand.

    PM: A hundred thousand? The one and only time the Gabba hosted the AFL grand final you didn’t even draw thirty thousand.

    Q: It was 2020. Those are COVID numbers. Plus in Queensland, we’re nothing if we’re not aspirational.

    PM: Alright. The AFL Grand Final-

    Q: And all three of the State of Origin matches.

    PM: Come on-!

    Q: And you know that deal that WA is getting with the GST? We want that too. And Ricky Ponting, he’s now a Queenslander and always has been.

    PM: What about Boonie?

    Q: Who?

    PM: Was there anything else you want to steal? From South Australia maybe?

    Q: They no longer have the F1, do they?

    PM: Nope.

    Q: Then, they’ve got nothing worth stealing.

    PM: Northern Territory, what about you?

    NT: We want to become a state.

    PM: Good to he-

    NT: With twelve senators, like the other states.

    PM: Queensland, would you settle for hosting the Grand Final every second year?

    And of course ACT has Reconciliation Day on the 27th May. Good luck moving that too.

    #Comedy #Sketch #Australia